![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Is having cybersex with a minor an abusive act? Could engaging in this as a minor lead to negative consequences in adulthood? Even if there are no pictures or phone calls exchanged, just text?
Last edited by darkpurplesecrets; Aug 31, 2014 at 08:35 AM. Reason: added trigger icon... |
#2
|
||||
|
||||
YES! I saw tv shows about people being arrested for it!
__________________
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() A careless father's careful daughter... |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
What if it is with a stranger? What if the minor knew what they were doing? (Not tricked or seduced or anything)
|
#4
|
||||
|
||||
It doesn't matter. The law is...there's no excuse. (Consider it mostly true that minors cannot see the outcome of their choices; their prefrontal cortex or something is not fully grown) Lock that door & throw away the key! Best thing you could do.
__________________
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() A careless father's careful daughter... |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
I am DEFINITELY not writing from the perspective of a perpetrator.. If anything the other way around
|
#6
|
||||
|
||||
A minor can't consent. There is no such thing as them knowing what they are doing. Having cyber sex with a minor is wrong and in some places illegal.
|
#7
|
||||
|
||||
Yes, at least in the US, cyber sex, seducing a child online, online grooming of a minor, viewing or sending child pornography, etc. is all illegal. It is no different than being in person with the minor. Online or in person the minor is a minor and even if they believe they know what they are doing the law says they cannot give consent.
If caught the adult would be considered a sexual predator just the same as if they were caught offline. I hate to admit it but I know three men who have been caught and charged. |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
>-<. If it is bad and the same then why aren't there any resources online for the victims?
|
#9
|
||||
|
||||
What do you mean resources online?
|
#10
|
|||
|
|||
Anything? Support? Books to read? Blogs about people's experiences? Literally anything written for victims.. Not just law enforcers or upset parents
|
#11
|
||||
|
||||
I'm not sure how to answer that. To me, there is the same support out there for people who have online experiences as there are for people who have in person experiences.
People who have been a victim of online abuse can come here or any other support group and get the same help as someone who is a victim of real life abuse. There are blogs and, at least around here, it is talked about in schools along with the other types of abuse. There are books out there too. I guess I may not be understanding what you are saying completely, but this is my opinion. :-/ |
#12
|
||||
|
||||
#13
|
|||
|
|||
A British court would consider this to be a crime: Sexual Offences Act 2003 However as current events are showing the chances of abuse ending in prosecution are shamefully low.
|
#14
|
|||
|
|||
skycastle ... Yes, it is ...
Are you a minor who's being sexually exploited online, or know of a minor who is? If so, it is imperative that you let your parents and/or the authorities know about it! Sexual exploitation of minors, whether online or in real life, has negative impacts and consequences that last its victims/survivors a lifetime. Sincerely, Pfrog! ![]() |
#15
|
|||
|
|||
It would be considered a crime. Possibly also needs to be considered in terms of grooming as the adult may be hoping to carry things further.
Is it abusive? Yes. The adult is abusing the trust of the minor. Even if the minor is aware there are a lot of other factors that come into play. Generally speaking a minor may be very smart but they can still be very vulnerable in other areas. If anything is making a young person uncomfortable I hope they can find someone to open up to as it may save a lot of hurt later. Of course that doesn't mean they have to be affected by what has happened but it's okay and understandable if they are. What happens online can be every bit as hurtful as what happens in real life. Sometimes people forget that. They forget the people on the other side of the screen have feelings too. |
#16
|
|||
|
|||
Is it possible/normal to not think something is abusive as a child and then as an adult have a different perspective on it? Can it be abuse if the minor enjoys it or seeks it out?
|
#17
|
||||
|
||||
I struggled with that for years, skycastle. I thought that because I allowed my uncle to sexually assault me when I was 7-9 years old and because I started liking it that I was the guilty one, I thought I should be ashamed of myself. My uncle took advantage of me and it didn't make it okay because I sometimes enjoyed it. I am still having a tough time now as an adult because I don't know what feelings I am "supposed" to have about what happened.
__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
![]() celtic.starlite, lacerta
|
#18
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
It is always abuse/molestation/exploitation when an adult has sexual relations with a minor. The minor is often under the authority and/or control of the adult who is raping them and is not of age to consent to or make an informed choice to agree to the sexual interaction. As far as enjoying it and seeking it out goes ... Molesters are masters of manipulating the minds of the victims they predate upon ... Whether the victim finds it pleasurable and/or seeks it out or not! Again, if you are a minor being sexually abused by a pedophile in real life or online, or know of a minor who is, I urge you to immediately inform the authorities or another trusted adult IN REAL LIFE! If you are an adult survivor, it's okay to look for answers here, but if you are a minor, I cannot impress the importance of getting help in real life! Sincerely, Pfrog! ![]() |
![]() celtic.starlite, mommaxo, precaryous
|
#19
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
It is abuse. It is illegal. I was sexually abused by my dad and other men. I began to like it, and started to actively participate.... I always said it didn't affect me, and I was wrong. I have never had a healthy relationship because of it. I am a survivor of online grooming. It started when I was about 12. I was completely aware of what was going on. I knew all about sex from the stuff I endured in person. I knew all the things to say to these men online. I have never told anyone about this, not even my T. This has hurt me pretty much the same as what was physically done to me. The difference is that I am able to talk about what was done physically to me for the most part, but after 15 years THIS is the first time I've mentioned the online crap I went through. It IS abuse no matter what the minor thinks, feels, or says. It can be very harmful to the minor. The minor may not think so and then years later find out how it has been harmful. I'm sorry if my replies have been long or come across rude or anything, but it is because I HAVE been there and I am just now learning what I did to myself by thinking it was OK. It is NOT OK. It is NEVER OK. Celtic |
![]() Bill3, lacerta, mommaxo
|
![]() Skywoulf
|
#20
|
|||
|
|||
Thanks everybody.. and celtic thanks for sharing your experiences.... I guess what I'm wondering though is what if you're 16 and 17, not 12 or something. Aren't 16 or 17 the ages of consent in some states? Isn't there implication there that the experiences with virtual sex could be consensual?
I'm not in any way involved now with any of this and am an adult so there is nothing to worry about me needing to report anything... just trying to get some perspective on old things |
#21
|
|||
|
|||
Until you are an adult in the eyes of the law (18 years of age and older), it is illegal for any adult (18 years of age and older) to predate upon you in a sexual manner and that includes online or in real life and/or any other medium (phone texts, etc.) that the adult can think of or come up with in order order to do so.
Sincerely, Pfrog! ![]() |
#22
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
As for my story.... my online stuff started at age 12 and went to age 19. Looking back, I can see how much danger I put myself in. The "worst" of it was between ages 12 and 14. I understand that it has to be difficult to understand how online acts could affect someone in very much the same ways as "real life" situations. I guess another way to view it is if you look at just real life..... a child who is touched inappropriately can be affected just as much as a child who was actually raped. However, yes, there are people who go through life claiming what they experienced never affected them. I did that, but like I previously said, in the last few months I have learned that I was deeply affected. Maybe the answer to one of your questions is that maybe it is possible in rare cases that the abuse didn't affect the minor, but that doesn't mean it wasn't abuse. Celtic Last edited by celtic.starlite; Aug 31, 2014 at 09:45 AM. Reason: typo |
![]() Bill3
|
#23
|
||||
|
||||
I think the age of consent (for sex or to get married) is younger than 18 in some states, but then your chances of ending up on the Jerry Springer Show are higher
![]() |
#24
|
||||
|
||||
Technically at least from what I understand, all sex with minors is prohibited. That includes minors with minors that is consensual. People don't usually go that far to pursue those cases.
There is a law on the governor's desk in California that would prosecute viewers (not makers and distributors) of child porn. That is how seriously people take this issue. The risks for abuse and trauma are too great. In fact, sex with a minor is considered abuse regardless of how the minor behaved or reacted. While I am not sure I agree with all of this and am certain I disagree with some of it, that is what the law is. As far as resources there must be something. I'll take a look. If there truly isn't anything it is perhaps because a minor reporting something would require legal action and therefore there aren't places where a minor can just go to get support without certain actions taking place as a result. Just a guess.
__________________
“Our knowledge is a little island in a great ocean of nonknowledge.” – Isaac Bashevis Singer |
#25
|
||||
|
||||
Made my post while lots of other posts happened in between, including you saying you were going over the past. If you are doing this with a therapist, that probably is the best way to process it. In my opinion the age (especially maturity) of the minor makes a difference, but that is not what the law says. Like I think it is crazy that two 17 year olds cannot have sex and that therapists are required by law to report this activity. Likewise what if it is sex between someone 19 and someone 17? Is that abuse? So I have reservations about many aspects of this issue, but I do understand that protection of minors is the main idea and that is a very important thing to uphold.
By the way, at least in California and this could be federal too, if you tell a therapist about past sexual contact that is reportable, usually you are fine in keeping that confidential, but if the adult is currently in contact with minors, the therapist is mandated by law to report it immediately or face a misdemeanor and losing their license. All they have to have is "reasonable suspicion" to make a report, no proof, not anything concrete, just suspicion.
__________________
“Our knowledge is a little island in a great ocean of nonknowledge.” – Isaac Bashevis Singer |
Reply |
|