had a call....

today from mental health team.said if i needed it i could go earlier. which is great. i had myself psyched up for19th march. the phine call scared the crap outta me, seriously. this is it. i have to spill my gutsto someone i dont know so they can assess me and decide who to put me with, psychologist, psychiatrist, nurse fekkin joe bloggs -

i am so scared. full of this 'oh yea i'm gonna talk to someone at last and resolve my issues' get rid of the baggage.

i have to relive all that %#@&#!, worries me, don't wanna be a wreck. already a wreck thinking about it.

they might think i'm a total freak, other people have worse things happen to em. then i know that's silly cos tht's why i'm going. i feel so bad today. i have been given more iazapam, but they don't seem tobeworkingon anxiety attacks. went to see doc today and hesays this is normal for high dose of prozac.

I CANT COPE. FEELA SCREWED UP AS I EVER DID

FEK.

JINNY XXXX

im really glad you re going to get to talk to someone jinny. just remember ultimately you re the one in control. you re choosing to do this for yourself and they cant force you to do anything. take things easy and slowly and at whatever pace is comfortable for you. getting rid of the baggage can be a long process and this is just the first step so no pressure!
good luck hon.

sending you........

thankyou peeps, seen normal t today she put my mind at rest a bit about seeing pdoc, just go at my own pace ect.

thanks for caring ((((((((((((massive love))))))))))