call from dad....

i have to talk. sorry. i just had a call from my so called father.

he knows i have been depressed since october.

not one call until today, just now. and only because it is my daughters 18th tomorrow.

asked me what's wrong, told him i'm not prepared to talk about it. he couldn't give a %#@&#! anyway.

always with my step sister and her kids. never gets in touch with us unless it's a birthday. spose that's something i should be grateful for.

he now put me in anxiety. hands are shaking, head going, i have to go out for a big 'do' tonight for my daughter, chinese with friends, lots of us. i dont feel sociable. i have to be happy for her sake. i just want to go to bed and sleep and sleep.

my husband told me to get a grip it's danis 18th birthday. i wish i could just be happy just for this weekend. i cant take anxiety pill as they male me zombified. cant bear thought of eating in this place - so big and open and busy.

i wish my dad would just get out of my life and stay out
my kids feel abandoned by him and that makes me so sad because i have those feelings and i wanted to protect my kids from that.

i feel so bad. not sure how to get myself in mood

jinny

((((Jinny)))

I know how you feel hun...good luck and take care of yourself...maybe just take it easy the rest of the day? Then go out for alittle bit? Maybe watch a romantic film to get you alittle juicified...lol like the word? Or maybe spend some one on one time with your daughter? Like snuggle up together and watch some tv...giggle over who looks like who and if donald trump with really loose his hair or is it just a hairpiece to begin with? Maybe eat a few chocolates..or what an asian film...they always eat and it always gets me hungry for chinese!!! Maybe put a puzzle together..that will calm you down for alittle bit cuz of your curiosity..though it might enrage you after awhile if all the pieces are the same freakin green color and every tree looks the same....hmm or you could just reread this and by the time your done youll have a smile on your face and youll shake your head and say...that darn inny...boy shes funny i wish she was here and then read it all over again just get all warm and gushy inside like a sweet ...i dont know whats sweet with a gushy good flavor inside..you choose..this is your post...anyway..hope i made you smile....LOVE YOU (((((((Jinny))))))))))) love, Inny

i love you and yes you made me smile. unfortunately, dani and bf are inseperable at moment, like conjoined twins lol. nice to see them so in love i guess.

you make my day brighter, thanks for that

love you jinny xoxoxoxo

Hello Jinny.
I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Just try to think about the positive of having a good time tonight, and try to calm down if you can so hopefully you can get some pleasure out of the evening. Talk to you soon Jinny. Happy Birthday to your daughter. Take care Soidhonia

(((( jinny ))))

This post is probably too late for your night out, but I'll post anyways.

I completely understand how some people in our lives can make us want to pull our hair out, scream and shout and tell them to bugger off. That being said, I also know how important this night is for your daughter and your family.

Many times in life we have to take the bull by the horns and make a conscious effort to NOT let people that bother us, get to us. We have a choice to make - either we let them have control over us, or WE give ourselves the control over how we deal with them. It's something everyone can do with practice and patience and the realization that no one can control our emotions but us. I don't like letting people have that kind of control over me and waisting my precious time worrying about them and how they affect me. I would rather put that effort into the people and things that I feel deserve it.

I hope you were able to relax a bit and enjoy your time out. Please wish your daughter a very Happy Birthday from me!!!



Hugssssssssss
J

thankyou for your replies

we did have a good night out. chinese sang happy birthday to dani(they do it to everyone who has celebration) but we all stood up and banged on the table and cheered ha, roon joined in too lol. she had a lovely time, thankyou i will pass on happy birthdays. it is on sunday, so we are having lamb roast which is danis fav meal, followed by birthday cake. she is going away with b/f at end of month for her main present from us to york.

thnx again, kerry (jin) xoxoxoxo

I am glad you had such a good time and was able to be happy and have fun. How fast our children grow!!! If you are like me it just seemed liked yesterday when you had her.

I have a dinner party tomorrow here at my home for my son who is visiting and I am very anxious. Anxiety, breathing, upset tummy, neck muscles painful...just way to much to handle....I know how you feel.

I am sorry you had so much anxiety caused from you father. (((((jinny))))))
Love ya,
Snowy

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, lamb......................mmmmmmmmmm..................I'm coming Kerry. Save me some......