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  #1  
Old Nov 07, 2014, 05:05 PM
cryingontheinside's Avatar
cryingontheinside cryingontheinside is offline
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Posts: 2,299
Hi everyone.
I am feeling really scared and worried right now and i dont know what to do.
I have been summonsed to go to court to be a witness for an old school friend from my past who was abused by her step father.
I am so worried and i dont want to go. My memory is quite poor and i am afraid i will mess things up for her by mistake.
I am afraid i dont remember enough to help her. I think i am going to be made to look like an idiot on the stand, and that they will talk about my mental health.
I too have been abused and of course i want to help her.
I am just so scared and want to run away and hide.
I dont think i have a choice. Once they tell you your a witness you have to go.
I think its going to be a hot mess and i am going to let my friend down.
I have been trying to put it out of my mind but the court date is getting closer.
What would you do if you were in my situation?
Hugs from:
*PeaceLily*, BLUEDOVE, Bluegrey, kaliope, mommaxo, ThisWayOut

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  #2  
Old Nov 07, 2014, 07:22 PM
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kaliope kaliope is offline
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you go to court to help your friend but you don't arrange your testimony with the intent to help her. your testimony is about telling the truth. and you only testify to what you can remember. you do not say things to give a favorable impression to help your friend. it is not about helping her "win". it is only about telling the truth of what you know. if you are unclear about something, you state that you are unclear, but this is your recollection. if you don't remember, you state that you don't remember. don't try recalling things or piecing together stuff you don't know. it is ok if you cant answer the questions. just say you don't know. if they know you have mental health issues the other side will probably bring that up to discredit you. be honest and state your diagnosis, that you are in treatment?, and that you are stable? that your mental health issues in no way impact your memory or your ability to be honest or testify. going to court is anxiety provoking. I usually take a klonopin before I get on the stand....just review all the facts that you know about the case so you are very clear about them before you go in. don't deviate from testifying about anything but those facts. you cant testify about something you don't know..they like to ask you to presume things. don't let them only talk about the facts that you know....good luck.
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kali's gallery http://forums.psychcentral.com/creat...s-gallery.htmlWhat would you do?


Thanks for this!
precaryous, ThisWayOut
  #3  
Old Nov 08, 2014, 07:04 PM
*PeaceLily* *PeaceLily* is offline
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How did it go?

xx
  #4  
Old Nov 08, 2014, 07:41 PM
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cryingontheinside cryingontheinside is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
Its not till a couple of months time. I am still really anxious and dont want to go. I feel i will mess things up and possibly become suicidal if i am attacked verbully.
  #5  
Old Nov 08, 2014, 08:30 PM
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cryingontheinside cryingontheinside is offline
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Posts: 2,299
Peace lily, i sent you a private messege in response to your recent post.
  #6  
Old Nov 14, 2014, 05:51 PM
Ballerina365 Ballerina365 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 8
If your really worried about standing in court to give your testimony, you can ask for it to be done by video, that way you don't actually have to be in the court room but you can still give your statement. Just take your time and think about what you want to say. Stay strong! And know that people are always here if you want to talk.
Thanks for this!
cryingontheinside
  #7  
Old Nov 15, 2014, 03:12 PM
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BLUEDOVE BLUEDOVE is offline
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Posts: 794
I would plead 'illness',can't make it, near the time.
Thanks for this!
cryingontheinside
  #8  
Old Nov 16, 2014, 07:08 AM
Tommo Tommo is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
Hi everyone.
I am feeling really scared and worried right now and i dont know what to do.
I have been summonsed to go to court to be a witness for an old school friend from my past who was abused by her step father.
I am so worried and i dont want to go. My memory is quite poor and i am afraid i will mess things up for her by mistake.
I am afraid i dont remember enough to help her. I think i am going to be made to look like an idiot on the stand, and that they will talk about my mental health.
I too have been abused and of course i want to help her.
I am just so scared and want to run away and hide.
I dont think i have a choice. Once they tell you your a witness you have to go.
I think its going to be a hot mess and i am going to let my friend down.
I have been trying to put it out of my mind but the court date is getting closer.
What would you do if you were in my situation?
Point by point:

1> "My memory is quite poor and i am afraid i will mess things up for her by mistake."

You have just thrown the whole case out the window. You are going to be asked what you remember. A poor memory means "I don't know".

2> "I am afraid i dont remember enough to help her. I think i am going to be made to look like an idiot on the stand,"

No, you will look like you are setting the story up. The judge may very well strike your testimony from the record and this will move the jury into believeing the guy and not your friend.

3> "and that they will talk about my mental health."

This is a 100% certainty. Any defence lawyer that doesn't question your sanity hasn't studied Law 101...

You're wondering of if your testimony will hurt your friend is well placed. With a witness like you...there won't be a conviction.

Please don't be offended by my questioning you...but how SURE are you of this whole thing? From this post I can see that you are being beaten over the head with this...and you don't like it, whatsoever. It seems you are being loaded up with "what to say" by your friend...and you are admitting that you are not up to telling her you won't testify. Did you actually "witness" the crimes??? This is what it will come down to.

I think you may well be set up for this. Be careful...and see Legal Aid for a lawyer that has nothing to do with this to talk to you.

Good luck...
Thanks for this!
cryingontheinside
  #9  
Old Nov 16, 2014, 07:11 AM
Tommo Tommo is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaliope View Post
you go to court to help your friend but you don't arrange your testimony with the intent to help her. your testimony is about telling the truth. and you only testify to what you can remember. you do not say things to give a favorable impression to help your friend. it is not about helping her "win". it is only about telling the truth of what you know. if you are unclear about something, you state that you are unclear, but this is your recollection. if you don't remember, you state that you don't remember. don't try recalling things or piecing together stuff you don't know. it is ok if you cant answer the questions. just say you don't know. if they know you have mental health issues the other side will probably bring that up to discredit you. be honest and state your diagnosis, that you are in treatment?, and that you are stable? that your mental health issues in no way impact your memory or your ability to be honest or testify. going to court is anxiety provoking. I usually take a klonopin before I get on the stand....just review all the facts that you know about the case so you are very clear about them before you go in. don't deviate from testifying about anything but those facts. you cant testify about something you don't know..they like to ask you to presume things. don't let them only talk about the facts that you know....good luck.
That pretty much sums it up. It seems to me she is being pressured to do this. She needs to speak to a lawyer...and NOT one related to either side of this case.
Thanks for this!
cryingontheinside
  #10  
Old Nov 16, 2014, 08:49 AM
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cryingontheinside cryingontheinside is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
Thanks to all of you. I think its best if i dont go. It wasnt my friend making me it was a police man who questioned me as she had mentioned she told me stuff in school. I remembered a little of what she told me but not as much as she thinks. Even though i was vague with the officer he still sumonsed me to court. I mentioned it to my friend and she told me she opened up to me in bunny park when we were kids. I dont remember that insident. All i remember is a: when we were in school she wanted to run away and for me to come with her, she said her step dad was going to force her to go abroad and marry her uncle. The second thing is about 5 years ago she told me she was sexually abused by her step father. We were all drunk at the time so i dont remember the details clearly.
I cant bear to be torn apart, look like an idiot and possibly make things worse. I think i will plead illness. My anxiety is through the roof. I cant take the pressure either. Thanks everyone for your advice and support.
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