What do you do when the abuser accuses you of abuse and threatens legal action?

Due to shame I never reported the abuse though I collected a significant amount of evidence over the years.

Now, the abuser has emailed me threatening legal action for harassment that is not happening.

I am afraid and I don't know what to do. I have pictures, recorded conversations and more documenting the abuse.

My abuser has threatened legal action before to scare me and force me back into line but I'm very afraid at this point because the email sent to said all contact would he used against me.

I left a voicemail message saying I would pursue legal action but I'm not sure what else to do. I'm very afraid.

I recommend you dont contact them anymore. He/she doesnt need to know you're pursuing the legal action right now.Only you need to know that so I dont think you should tell them again..Don't give the person the opportunity to twist things, so leave them in the dark as much as you can from now on. Don't let them know of anymore evidence or anything, or they may start trumping up some 'evidence' of their own.

However, also dont let them put you off- 'harrassment' via telephone even if the calls are angry, is not going to make you look bad if you have pictures of actual physical harm and conversations etc.

xxx

Thank you for your response. I'm going to take your advice. I'm struggling not to call because I feel so wronged and it hurts so much. This person has previous convictions for domestic abuse, I've learned. Do you think that will help my case?

What this person has done is congruent behahiour for someone accused of abuse. Even though you know this to be true, and feel slighted by them turning the tables on you...DO NOT CONTACT THEM IN ANY WAY. There is no liability if an accusation is true...and as you said you have several pieces of evidence. Usually if someone is serious about taking legal action...They just do it, not threaten to do it. If they contact you again in a threatening way, you may want to think about a restraining order or similar. The best advice I can think of in this situation is to not personaly engage at all, even if they initiate contact.

Take care rouge198.

I would contact an attorney....just in case....and no contact with the abuser. YOU have all of the "cards"---the truth and that is all you need.

I would go no contact, block access from him to you. And if he pursued legal recourse, show up to the hearing with an attorney. Usually legal action for harassment is a 209A/no harassment order.

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