[Ryan358]

I feel really confused and lost right now. I've always thought my parents were really abusive, and I have intense anxiety around them. I also have bad social anxiety and I've always blamed it on them. Because I'm so scared of them, I keep distant and stay in my room all day because I hate being around them. The thing is, their side of the story is completely opposite, and they think they're great parents and I'm the one who's mean. I have a ten year old brother (I'm 16), and he doesn't have any problem with them but they've always been nicer to him. They say mean things to him too, but he doesn't seem to notice and he thinks it's normal or something.
Lately, my parents are convinced that I'm mentally ill, and they say that's why I think they're abusive. I'm really scared now that perhaps they're right and there's something wrong with me (besides intense anxiety). If I found out I was autistic or something, I would probably kill myself.

Do you think I could really be delusional and they're not abusive? I'm really scared right now. I don't want to be mentally ill and live in a mental home. If so what could it be and what can I do?

I do love my parents a lot, but I have a hard time showing that.

[lostconfusedhopeles]

I do not think that you are delusional your a teenager just like me. Your parents by saying mean things are being abusive. While most people think abuse is physical most dont realize that it can be mental too.

[lostconfusedhopeles]

if you want to talk message me im here

[jenniy122]

First off, mentally ill people are not destined to live out their lives in community homes. You go through treatment and learn to manage your life. If you have anxiety, then yes, you have a mental illness. Do you have anything else? Who knows! You're probably more emotionally sensitive than your brother which is why your parent's words don't seem to effect him the way they do you. I would not call parents who say mean things "really abusive". Yes, rude comments and put downs are verbal abuse, and it can get bad and have a life long effect on you, but unless they're threatening your physical well-being and you believe in their intent... well we all see things differently. Also abusers never think they're in the wrong, they always blame the victim, so you're not delusional.

[fayc]

Let me ask you this ? Why do you feel the way you do towards your parents? Has something happened? Abuse is never ok, if you feel comfortable talking to someone you trust then talk to them. Get things off your chest, it works wonders.

[-jimi-]

One thing stands out here, you say your parents are nicer to your brother. Oftentimes when there is something wrong with the family situation, one sibling is treated differently than the other. It's quite a red flag.

You could tell us more about your family and we'd stand a better chance understanding what is going on.

[CosmicRose]

You are not imagining them saying rude things. A lot of times though, parents do say rude things. My mom was awful, she would say horribly mean things and act like it was no big deal or that I was just weak. My dad sometimes says rude things but he's generally a good guy and he's mostly nice, the only times he says mean things are when we're arguing about something, but he's no where near as mean as my mom is.
My point is that sometimes parents say rude things because well, they're human and they're parents. I don't think there's a perfect parent out there, and we all say things we later regret or don't even mean.

They obviously do not know how much they have hurt you. I think the best solution is to explain to them, in detail, why you think they are abusive. Have actual "evidence" like "On Monday you said this and it really hurt my feelings."
When I was younger I resorted to keeping a journal specifically dating the horrible things my mom would say to me, because she would always say she never said that. She made me feel like I was going crazy sometimes, but that's what a lot of abusive people do, they lie and deny.
Perhaps talk to them one-on-one, not together, because they might gang up on you and just make you feel bad and not listen to you at all.
You could even ask your brother, why he doesn't seem to notice or be affected by their rude remarks. If he asks what remarks, be detailed. Like, "Yesterday they said this and you totally ignored it or didn't even notice they said that. It would upset me if they said that to me, so how are you able to just ignore them when they do that to you?"