seen my younger brother the other day
and i get along with him alright
hes a good guy
the thing is hes younger was favoured and spoilt
and has no clue about the things that went on
he hates it how the family dont get along
and wants everything to be perfect
when i seen him his girlfriend started going on about our older sister (M) and how none of us get along with her
my brother was saying how our other sister (A) needs to get over how annoying the other is
the annoying sister (M) slept with a bf of mine and when i broke up with him he raped me
i told my brother this some time ago cos he went off about why cant we get along
from then he has let it slide that i dont see her and that she was super mean to me and done wrong

somehow though i feel really bad
seeing my family any member even gettin an email
and i dont see or here from them often and if i do its generally my brother or sister A
but i really hate how i feel after seeing them
its nothing i can be specific about
i just put it done to the abuse i got and the fact none of them were supportive

i hate family

my life is a mess

((((((((((((bronee))))))))))

love you my girl, keep strong for e.mom.

speak later baby

all my love and hugs, jinny xoxoxoxoxkezza lol

[InACorner]

((((Bronee))))

im sorry you feel that way about family...sometimes you really have to take it for golden advice when they say people who havent gone what you went through have no idea until they walk in your shhoes....i know it doesnt help the situation...or make you feel better...didnt make me feel any better but i guess but see there is a good point to this....maybe its a blessing that they dont understand....What helps me alittle every day is thinking ...if this happened to my boyfriend or my friends or even my family...probably they wouldnt be able to handle it...maybe God saw the strength in you...your still alive today...still hanging in there....maybe you feel messed up, weak, powerless right now...but if somebody else went through it instead of you...they might have killed themselves...or others....while you stick to surviving and dealing with it on your own instead of hurting others....think about it....my boyfriend got hurt by a girl...and he has some major issues with that...now think of how he would have reacted if his family that he loved and trusted abused him...he would have been tons worse...so maybe this doesnt help you...maybe it does....but i will gladly take the torture...the blame and the hurt if that means i might have saved some other little girl from it....like my sister....if i got it instead of someone who would have more will to kill others than im glad....sometimes you have to wonder what the real motive is behind the plan of God. He isnt there to punish you or ruin your life...hes out to save it....and to save others...he gives us only what we can handle...and therefore it might later change our lives for the good....dramatically. I love you and stay strong. I am here for you ...all my prayers and wishes.
love, Inny