[mrmag]

Ah the human mind and the way it works, holding back memories you never knew you had until you are ready to take it, or at least i was lucky enough for this to happen, would have been luckier if the memories never came back... but you can't control everything your mind does.

(Possible trigger after this point) (don't know how to put the trigger box around it so you can open it if you wish to read it so warning) (the next paragraph has the triggering things in it so dont read that if you will be triggered)

It has been 2 years since I left my father and i'm both remembering some of the things that happened and realized that it was abuse. I should mention that my parents have been divorced since i was born and my mother took me away from my father for the reasons i now know. but when i was about 11 my father found us so me and my sister started going to his place again. the first year not much happened to me but my sister did leave after the first year (wish i followed) and after that everything went downhill and he started blaming me for my sister leaving and refusing to come back, that is when he started verbally abusing me through insults and cursing, after about a year he started to hit me for the dumbest things for example not walking fast enough, I don't quite remember everything past this point (dam brain and your ways) the next thing i remember is the last few weeks before i left him, this all took place in about 3-4 years.

Thank you for reading i just needed to get what i have remembered off my chest so I can start learning to cope with it, and does anyone have any recommendations for remembering what i still don't remember, or should i let my mind tell me as it pleases. Again thank you for reading hope you have great day, and good luck with your life.

[lightcatcher]

Hi mrmag, sorry you are having difficulties remembering. I think our brain will protect us until we are ready to address our memories in a safe supported space. Sometimes that can be different too.
For me I could begin to recall one thing, then it's like a door you've opened and can't quite close, so more memories seem to trickle in. Sometimes writing helps, talking in therapy can help as sometimes I can end up saying something and then think oh there it is. I've also come to realise there is no point in pushing ourselves to remember, they will come in time when you are ready.

[ThingWithFeathers]

I've heard that it's really hard to force these things. Memory is funny thing - the way it works, the way it hides, the way it can surprise you, and even the way it can deceive you. I know for me, forcing it doesn't help. I will remember at my own pace and when I'm ready. There are some things I will never remember, but also accept that the brain does marvelous things to protect us

I'm sorry for what you've gone through.

Im so sorry that happened to you, it should never have happened.

[mrmag]

Well today I spoke with my sister about the past and about our father and such, not many memories has returned so far but we both got so much off our shoulders about what we went through (It turns out i was living with my father for about 5ish years and i was closer to 9 when i started seeing him again) so i guess my mind is more or less holding back 3ish years of memories (ah it going to be "fun" remembering those) and generally everything i remember i said and everything she remembered was said.
(Just wanted to update you guys on stuff and thanks you all were a great help)

[RainbowG]

I agree with what others have said. I don't think you can force memories. I too get frustrated sometimes because I know things happened but can't remember the details, which makes validating them hard. I have to trust that they happened as my intuition says they did.

Your dreams may also present to you memories or parts of memories. Like you might see a room or furniture or a person in a dream that's from the past. You can use that to remember that thing and perhaps more memories will come. So you might want to pay close attention to your dreams as you work through these memories.

Stay strong!

[Jmatalik]

Very true, my therapist has me keeping a journal.. Especially if I have a nightmare. I will be honest my brain has blocked out a lot of stuff.. Once I started using the journal more dreams started to happen. Feels like the gates of hell opened up sometimes. But it is helping me remember and deal with my fragmented memories and the whole ones

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