Memory blanks

Most of my childhood I can't remember I remember certain things and most of them I don't like and because of my memory I don't even know how old I was when it first happened and I don't know how far he even went and that makes me scared...I want to know what happened.
I remember one time he told me to come up to his room, I remember not really wanting too but I didn't want to say no so I followed him with no complaint, I remember he asked me a few a things then told me to get on his bed and then my mind goes blank and the next thing I remember is my childminder calling me down for dinner...I don't even know how old I was.
I know it only stopped when I was 11 and that was only because my secondary was too far from my childminders.

I just remembered something else, it's a different memory, I'm going to call the person I talked about earlier is called 'sam' and this person is 'tom'. For some reason I was upstairs but my childminder didn't let us upstairs so I don't why I was there and I remember for some reason I walked into Sam's brothers room, i think my brother was on Tom's computer and I can't really remember but I think Tom walks in or someone and I think my brother leaves but for some reason I don't the only thing I remember before my mind goes blank is for some reason I'm sitting on Toms bed.

Again I don't know how old I was. Do you know how I can try and recover my memories?

Most of my childhood is also blank but the bad stuff has slowly begun to return after I had forgotten it as a youngster. I think you just have to give it time if you really want to remember. Sometimes stuff may come back because of a trigger, a random flashback or even a dream.

IME when your brain blocks something from you, it is for good reason, it is meant to protect you from severe psychological damage or possibly even suicide. Your mind will not release those memories until you are ready. There are methods that can be used to try to force memory recovery before your mind is ready, but that can be dangerous and re-traumatize a person, as well as lead to a total mental breakdown. Even when my mind was ready, even just tiny pieces out of the blue would still stop me in my tracks when they came back to me, I would even stop breathing and be frozen in place. Tread cautiously and be gentle with yourself.

That must of been difficult for you. And I'll be careful, I can wait longer if I need to, I just hope to find out sometime soon but if I don't...I don't

I can relate to feeling lost without many memories of growing up. Most of my childhood is blank except for some negative memories, and more recently, some pretty intense flashbacks. I still don't remember much of it when not in the middle of a flashback. It took a lot of years to get any of it back.
If you are working with a therapist, perhaps you can focus on how what you remember (or don't remember) effects you in the present. I wouldn't suggest digging for memories, as what comes up can often be unreliable as well as overwhelming.
It's really frustrating having all those holes though. I hate chatting with people and having no recollection of what they are talking about, or not being able to give an anecdotal story of when I was younger. I've started just nodding and agreeing with stories people tell of things we have done together. I had recently gotten back in touch with a really good friend from my middle & high school years. She would recount storie of things we did, or ask if I remembered doing soemthing specific. At first I told her I didn;t remember, but maybe if she told the whole story it might jog my memory. She started gettign frustrated about it, taking it personally (like none of it meant anything to me b/c I didn't remember). I ended up having to explain that I don't remmeber most of my childhood outside of some really crappy memories that I would honestly rather not have. Now she tells me the stories of things we did together as if she were telling someone who wasn't there...
Hope you can come to some terms with what you remember.