[Confused1991]

Confused of what i should feel. Angry a bit, then happy feels like i'm loosing it.
I love my 2 babies (5)(2) but sjoh I'm not sure if i can cope. I had my 1st born at 19 not that i would turn back time i love her and her brother to bits. I didn't have time to explore my options and when i see my friends today all enjoying themselves and here i am raising my kids wouldn't change that fact but what i wouldn't give to go and enjoy myself one night where i don't have to explain to hubby where i am going or who the people are greeting me etc. i started early with kids cause i wanted to get out of that house the house where i was in the way, verbally abused and molested as child. IS MY WAY OF THINKING WRONG??????

[Skeezyks]

Hello Melaney: No, your way of thinking is not wrong at all. These are simply the conflicting emotions we all have. It's just part of being human! I'm an older person who's been married for over 30 years! I love my spouse. But much of the time, I simply want to be left alone. I have this recurring fantasy of going to live in some spiritual community where all I would do all day is to quietly meditate... alone. I'm not going to do it. But there's certainly a part of me that would like to. I think there's a part of most of us that wishes our lives had turned out differently.

By the way, I hope you are having an opportunity to get out of the house & enjoy yourself occasionally... even if you do need to tell hubby where it is you're going. Everyone needs a break now-&-then...

[nicoleflynn]

Feelings aren't right or wrong, they simply are. It is very important and necessary for your mental health...... to take time for yourself. It is respectful to tell hubby where you are going but you shouldn't feel you have to go into great detail. I was also verbally abused and molested as a child.......did you ever go for professional help? hugs.......69 year old Sophomore...and I still feel 18!

[TerriLynn]

Melaney, I totally understand. But also, am past that point now. I had my daughter when I was 22, which is still a little older than you started, but I did the same, watched all the young people party, having fun, etc. I also got married young to get out of the house. It was really hard watching all the people at work go out after work for happy hours, when I had to go home and pick up my daughter. I also had a super controlling and jealous husband at the time so was never able to go even if he was home to take care of our daughter. Then I was a single mom for 10 years, so then there definitely was no going out.

But, now, I am 45 years old, my daughter is in college and my husband and I get to have all kinds of fun now! Its different fun, its traveling, having nice dinners out, buying boats, or cars, or whatever! When you get older, are more financially secure, it's so much more fun to have that free time! I am still young enough now that my daughter is grown to really enjoy it!

You made a comment that you seem to think that because you have kids that you have to explain to your husband where you are going and with whom, but its not the kids, it is because you are a wife, you made a commitment to this man and he should certainly come first. It is his right as your husband to know where you are and with whom. You should always take that into consideration and try not to be bitter about that.

I am not saying that your feelings are wrong, I am simply suggesting looking at things from a different prospective, because it may change how you feel about things. Also, those little ones will grow up SO FAST, enjoy it now while you can, you cant get those days back!