[Tatiana]

Did you realize the extent of Domestic Violence happening within military families?
http://www.divinecaroline.com/articl...P=KNC-DC_YSM_6

According to this article, domestic violence is common within military families, especially after a spouse returns home from deployment. The article gives a few ideas and resources where a spouse could get help.

Has anyone else heard of this, or know of more places to find help?

divorces within the families that are involved in Iraq and Afghanistan are way up.........

[Evangelista]

I was married to a Military member for 28 years.

Deployments are tough, along with the stress of moving a family all over the world, getting used to new cultures, new languages, setting up households, finding a job, if you can, low pay, lack of support networks, away from family, friends.

I was afraid to say anything to anyone, because at that point it's a career ender, they dont make rank, either by being ordered into anger management programs, or court martialed. When his First Sargent actually witnessed an act abuse by accident, he was ordered into anger management, and given a reprimand, making his chance at becoming a senior enlisted just about zero to nill, he turned in his papers and got out...guess who got the brunt of that move..

Overseas there were wives who would have their ID cards taken by there spouse as punishment, basically making them a non-person, because again if you report it, it only makes it worse. Mine did that to me over in Germany, left me stranded in the middle of the night, on a road, in the rain, miles from the base..I was literally paralyzed on the highway, not able to move, because either way, it was only going to get worse....I had other wives tell me that their spouse took their ID cards away too, basically leaving them unable to get access to healthcare, commissary, Base exchange...again the arguement of well there are agencies in the military to help, just go ask, the military has a very low tolerance for lack of dicipline.

When you become a spouse of an active duty member, there is a reason they call you a Dependent. My spouse was in a high stress field, high security clearance, short and long deployements overseas, long duty days, at times 24 hours, they cant talk to you about it, they see and experience horrible violence, they cant vent at work, there suppose to suck it up, and it spills over into the family life, how can it not.

My father was active duty, a pathological gambler, who was court martialed after he shot someone trying to rob a Motel over a gambling debt. My step-father was a Vietnam war veteran, who was a drunk and beat my mother unmercifully, and me too if I intervened.

So I guess, Yes, I know how extensive DV is in the military....watching the world from the inside looking out, feeling alone, hopeless, and trapped..all because the choices you have make it impossible to talk to someone until you have no choice..and once there out of the military machine..my experience has been, they carry the inability to release the stress of their experiences..

[LILITH]

Yes I have known that there is a lot of DV in the Military, but it is also high With Policce Officers, Firefighters, Lawyers and Doctors. It is sad that the people we have to depend on can also be violent abusers.

[LizHobar]

This was an amazing article, though somewhat depressing... I highly recommend reading it, and brainstorming ways to help curb the violence!

[tranquility]

My nephew went to Iraq for a year (regular army). When they let them back home they had to go to their base for 2 months to go through psychological testing to make sure they could go back to regular life.

The reason they did this is that alot of men were going home and killing their wives and then killing themselves. My nephew had heard of 2 that left his unit and did that.

It's so very sad......

Tranq

[UCLAFan]

Not all that surprised.Grew up being a military brat.Had a controling LT. Colonial for a dad.Won't ever date a guy in the military.

[insecurity]

Please don't think all military families are like this. I was in the military and my husband still is. Between us we have dealt with the military for 14 yrs each and have been married for 11 yrs. He recently served two tours in Iraq. While he has issues to work out, so do I. We are both currently in treatment separately. We love each other and regardless of our experiences there has never been any abuse. Each person brings their own problems and issues into a marriage and military life can be difficult and stressful. However there are a large portion of military families who are happy and successful and there is no abuse. Please be careful in thinking that this is an epidemic in military families.

insecurity