[DanielleBlacknBlue]

seven years of mental verbal and physical abuse that some times I have trouble believing. Stiches, 14 above my eye diesal fuel sprayed in my eyes beat with toilet plunger... Until the rubber came off. Not only did that take awhile to heal the outside but it was the joke of the year "beat her until the rubber comes off. Som many more accounts but I lied left state hid just to make sure he didn't go to jail the other day after trying since Oct. It was confirmed that I am pregnant. He said he wouldn't stop until he put a baby in me. Not even a week later he tosses me out literally and hasn't called or came to see about me. I protected him and wanted nothing bad to come from the broken bones my nose He almost bit off, but I want him dead I want him tortured before death for not wanting me any more why is it he is the only one that has a say? Anytime I left and started to be ok alone he would come and drag me home. Now that I'm having his baby and afraid to do it alone he just throws me away I love him and have no life without him but I don't get a say. I wish he would have killed me I wish I wasn't a domestic violence survivor. I don't want to live with out him?

[Skeezyks]

Hello DanielleBlacknBlue: I'm so sorry you have had to endure such awful circumstances. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. I hope you are someplace safe. I know you feel you have no life without this man. But, from what you wrote, it sounds as though his throwing you out was the best thing that could have happened... both for you & for your baby. Are you familiar with the National Domestic Violence Hotline? 1 (800) 799-7233 ?

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support

Perhaps they can be of some assistance.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[bterrier]

Welcome to the Board!!!.

I too was thrown out by my ex and I thought I would never make it without him. The day he threw me out, he had taken my paycheck the week before so when I lost my job that day I had to live in my car with the clothes on my back with 2 dogs in cold winter time, battered and beaten. It took me 2 months to find a job and from there I was able to afford an apartment. All the while I just wanted him to come back and get me regardless. I just wanted him back. Today, 9 years later (I still have so many days that I would jump to go back with him at any cost but things have changed) I own my own home-no one can throw me out in the cold, had my own car - no one could take away, and some pretty good counselors to walk with me through the long journey. Like I said I still have my days. But I learned that I can survive without him and I'm ok. Good luck to you and take care of yourself and the baby.