A doctor prescribed me antidepressants the other day and told me to consider taking them. I was shocked at the horrible experiences people have had on these meds, and thought I was going to deal with my issues for as long as I could without any pills..

So, I started to wonder WHY I can't get things done, like cleaning the house, doing dishes, cooking.. I realised I'm still living in my survival mode, feeling like I'm only safe if I don't move an inch..

I realised that because, as a child, I was way too small and physically incapable of fighting my dad, and couldn't flee from my home, my response to a stressful, scary, traumatic situation was to freeze completely. I reckoned if I was as invisible as possible so that no one could see the 'real me', I'd be safe..

Now I need to realise I'm not in that situation anymore Just this morning when I woke up, I found myself thinking how lovely it is I get to live on my own! That I don't have to be afraid in my own home anymore. And now I choose the people I accept into my life. I just need to listen to my instincts and not let anyone near me who seems dangerous. Now I can decide, so I don't need to protect myself by freezing anymore I'm no longer a helpless victim at the mercy of my environment!

[it'sgrowtime]

Yes!! Such a powerful realization. You can look back on this morning to recapture this feeling whenever you need to.

[Frankbtl]

Hi not.dead.yet

Sounds like a really powerful realisation!!
And while there may still be times when the past "hurts", you can now live for you, you do have the control now, you can be the master of your destiny
And you know, even after this realisation...........if you don't want to/feel like doing the dishes one day........you want to leave them until tomorrow..........that can still be your choice.......and the choice is your's.........you are in control...........but see that as a freedom, and you've just clearly taken back a whole chunk of your freedom in that realisation!!!
Kudos to you!!!!

Alison

[Fuzzybear]