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#1
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Recently Crisp Apple asked "can you accept an apology from your abuser? I some what answered that question, but it is so much more complicated than my answer at the time. First of all I have been abused in more ways than one. I was sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally abused, so what i say may, or may not make sense to everyone, and all of it, or parts of it doesn't make sense to me, but i am trying to understand as much of it all that my brain can take. My whole life has been one type of abuse. Even now, I am almost 52 years old, and i am still being abused. The difference now, is that i know i am being abused, but with the help of my T i am trying to understand, and work with what i am able to. In the world that i have lived in, there was only one, now maybe 2 sincere apologies that i needed, even to this day. The one that my soul has needed, and now will until i pass on, is my mother. I would give a capital letter to her if i felt she was deserving, but that is never to be. All of my childhood, and even more my adulthood I have tried, and done anything, and everything i humanly could to make my mother happy, content,satified, ect. Just to feel like she might care just a little for me. I am almost 52, and my biggest task to fulfill, until she passed away, was for my mother to, at the very least to like me, and hopefully, to actually love me as one of her children. And no i wasn't adopted, or a step child. My mother gave birth to me, with my real father waiting.
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![]() Anonymous37908, Anonymous59125, Bill3, MtnTime2896
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#2
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![]() Anonymous37908, Anonymous59125, Bill3, MtnTime2896
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#3
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![]() Anonymous37908, Anonymous59125, bearguardian, Bill3, LittleMouse78, MtnTime2896
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#4
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re they lying to you? are they making you the problem? I don't know this, but i do know that gossip is as bad as being gussied abo or the one gussied gussied abutted abutted ab0abutted abutted
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![]() Anonymous37908, Anonymous59125, MtnTime2896
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#5
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I'm sorry that the thread I started was so triggering for you.
I could really relate to your story in so many ways and I'm sorry that you have so much unresolved hurt and pain. |
![]() katydid777
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![]() katydid777
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#6
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SO AWFUL gosh what can I say. It's not right. No I can't accept the apology because they never stopped abusing me like repent so now you don't have the opportunity and you say sorry. So thats how it is for me.
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![]() Anonymous59125, Bill3, katydid777
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![]() katydid777
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#7
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[QUOTE=katydid777;5541914]re they lying to you? are they making you the problem? I don't know this, but i do know that gossip is as bad as guessing.
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![]() Anonymous59125
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#8
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![]() Anonymous59125, Bill3
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#9
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I don't think you should be sorry to get it out is good the truth is not offensive to me.
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![]() Anonymous59125, katydid777
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![]() katydid777
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#10
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![]() Anonymous59125, Bill3
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#11
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Really very nice to meet here I live in Janesville
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![]() Anonymous59125, katydid777
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#12
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I use to live in Kenosha, then Silver Lake, now i live in Georgia.
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![]() Anonymous59125
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#13
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Ah Silver lake one good fishin lake how do you like the south?
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![]() Anonymous59125, katydid777
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![]() katydid777
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#14
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![]() Anonymous59125, Bill3
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![]() Bill3
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#15
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I can't even begin to tell you how very sorry I am for all you went through. It's heartbreaking and too much for any person. What have you found to be helpful for you in moving forward from this? I haven't been through all you have but I relate to several things. Molestation from family friends, my friends family, my brother. Violence from several family members and outside my family. I don't want an apology from most of these people, in fact I don't ever want to see them again in my life. My ex husband recently apologized for the abuse and it was mildly helpful and at least it was something considering I can't get him out of my life. I'd like an apology from my 98 year old grandfather for choking me at age 9 and my dad for choking me with a jump rope around the same age but my dad doesn't remember (even though my mom had to beat him off me.....how could he forget?) and maybe my grandpa doesn't remember and reminding him could kill him so I can't do that. Logically I've made as much peace with these situations as can be expected but emotionally it infects so much, and I don't know the answers on how to fix it. I'm so sorry for you, for me, for everyone and anyone who has been through abuse. You are strong, never forget that and don't let anyone make you feel different. (((Hugs)))
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![]() Bill3, katydid777
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![]() katydid777
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#16
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![]() Bill3
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#18
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kattydid777 have you ever tried composting to make black dirt. It really works good and ashes from trees also make black dirt.
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![]() katydid777
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![]() katydid777
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#19
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![]() eyesclosed
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![]() eyesclosed
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#20
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Thanks for starting this thread, Katydid. I've mulled this around myself. For me, I really couldn't fathom even receiving an apology, so it's a moot issue.
Nonetheless, I would say the answer is YES, with caveats. Accepting an apology means different things to each of us. I'd allow my abusers to get it off their chest, but would it restore any relationship between us. NAW
__________________
We have a social group here at PC for members of large families. Please have a sibling group of 5+. PM me if you qualify and wish to join. |
![]() katydid777
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![]() katydid777
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#21
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It's really hard...
I feel like I could on the surface...but deep down no. It's been too long. Too much trust has been broken. It's reached a point now of no return. We have gotten along for over a year but I'm still waiting for the day that something will happen. I don't want to go back to that place where I felt like I couldn't move, sleep, wake up, sit down, do ANYTHING around the house without consistent fear. But the fact he put me through that in the first place, makes me never want to forgive him for anything.
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![]() Bill3, katydid777
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![]() katydid777
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#22
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#23
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#24
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![]() Like I almost feel like I'm the rock on which my family stands. He has outright told me that he would kill himself if I died/killed myself. When you struggle with depression, how is that supposed to make you feel? What about my mum and sister, and the life of misery I'd be dooming them to if something bad happened to me? He might not say these things anymore, but I guess words as strong as that will always haunt me. Sorry to go on a bit. It's just been eating me up alive.
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![]() katydid777
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#25
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