[justateenager]

So I’m going to try to make this as short as I possibly can. My mother emotionally abuses me. Keep in mind, I’m only 13, turning 14 in 16 days. Back to the main part, my mother just doesn’t treat me like she’s my mother. At all. She screams at me for every move I make. Yea, there will be times that I screw up, but to her, I screw up all the time. The worst part about everything is the extreme level she takes it to. She even threatens me, like just an hour ago, she threatened to “choke to sh** out of me” because I guess I was “disrespecting her” by telling her sorry for something so small and I guess she got mad at the way I said it even though I said it like any regular person would. And it wasn’t the first time. She’s threatened to:

Knock my head off
Choke the sh** out of me
Punch me in the throat
Kick me in my stomach, etc.

**And I don’t know if I should be worried, or prepared. And when I mean prepared, I mean getting ready to use self-defense. When I mean worried, I mean calling the police or running to a neighbor’s house. My mom has never been married, which means there was no divorce history or anything that could have made her this angry at ME. She doesn’t give me any freedom, whatsoever. If I’m going over my friend’s house, it takes a 48 hour verification from her, saying I can go. I just wanna be a TEENAGER. I’m still in my early teens, anyway. I don’t know why, but to me, she wants me to be a grown-up like I’m in my 30’s or something. She doesn’t treat me like a child. Again, she yells and screams at me EVERY DAY. She threatens me almost every day. I’m scared she’ll actually try to choke and kill me one day. She’s never been this angry with me.

****She makes me wonder: Does she really love me or does she just want me to obey her because she birthed me? I would confront a counselor, but last time I did that, she put on the innocent parent act and made it seem like I was the bad guy. I try to act older than my age, but I don’t think she understands that I’m only 13 and yes, I will screw up sometimes but that doesn’t give you the card to emotionally abuse me every single time that happens. I almost killed myself one day because of her. It was too much for me. I just wish she’d be more supportive and helping and caring. When she’s screaming at me, I cry every time. And when she sees one tear slide down my face, she automatically thinks I’m “weak” and she even called me a b**ch one time of that and never in my life I would think to hear my own mother, the person who is supposed to love and care for me, call me a b**ch. I just need some real good advice on how to deal with an emotional abusive mother. I really don’t want to live with her, but I also don’t want to live with anyone else in my family. A foster home would be better, but I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to live with anyone related to her. Sorry this was lengthy

[NikoleS]

Is she on drugs by chance?

My mom passed away when I was young, but I was taken care of by siblings and experienced this similar thing. Eventually I thought "maybe I'm just bad" and that I deserved it all. It was the main reason for my depression. I actually never thought I would have made it passed age 16 so I never made a future for myself. I moved out at 18, but I tried to keep contact because they were "family". I finally had to cut them out a year ago and it has been a lot better.

CPS would get involved and they put on an act as well.
The way I got through this was basically dealing with it.

Do you have any way to record what she's saying?
It would be helpful than just you telling someone that it's happening. Get it on recording and confront the counselor. Express you are afraid to even go home and all your fears.

I hope everything goes well for you!

[NikoleS]

https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/

[PumpkinPieHead]

Hi there!
I am so sorry you are going through this. You should not put up with this for a moment longer. 1-800-786-2929 for help. https://www.1800runaway.org/ OR Youth Runaway Prevention | For Teens | National Safe Place and you can text the word SAFE to 69866 for help.
I was in your shoes once and wish I had stood up for myself. Please PM me if you ever need to talk.

[justateenager]

Thank you so much. I think the recording part will be kind of difficult, because of the fact she took my phone and ipad. But your advice seems helpful and thanks for making me feel like I wasn't the only one, 'cause other kids think I'm crazy and that I'm lying on my mom

[Rob1713]

I'm really saddened reading your experiences, because clearly you're really having a desperately hard and miserable time, and without much hope or evidence things might improve any time soon.

I do hope the advice and support I can see you've already received in replies eventually helps and improves your situation. And I think you can see that not only do you need help, but clearly your mum does too. I can't help but relate a lot of what you've said to my own experiences, which then makes me think it's likely you care about her, despite all the abuse you've suffered, so maybe seeking help and guidance yourself can lead to your mum somehow receiving help and guidance herself.

I'm no psychologist but recently I find myself wondering what exactly makes an individual do or say the bad things they might do? Is it because they're simply just bad themselves? Or because it's largely through some disorder they may have? I don't think having a disorder makes you bad as such, so therefore an individual may not be inherently bad. And maybe therapy or drugs or whatever can help the individual and alleviate their negative behaviours?

I definitely feel making the difficult plunge to seek professional help yourself is very important and something you're going to have to do very soon, not only for your own benefit, but hopefully also for your mothers.

You are undoubtedly a good individual trying to do the right thing, and I really wish you best of luck. The numbers you can call provided by a previous replier look to be a great place to start.

[justateenager]

Oh yea and she's not on drugs, by the way. I just don't really know what the heck happened. ever since I was about 11 or 12, she just really has been different. I really don't want to cope with this any longer. I might just find somewhere else to go and to be completely honest, I don't know if I want to or will come back. It's a major "if".

[nicoleflynn]

Reading The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans might help. I grew up with a verbally abusive mother. They rarely change. Can you talk to a school counselor?

Her anger has nothing to do with who YOU are, and everything to do with who she is and HER issues; I know that doesn't help.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by justateenager

So I’m going to try to make this as short as I possibly can. My mother emotionally abuses me. Keep in mind, I’m only 13, turning 14 in 16 days. Back to the main part, my mother just doesn’t treat me like she’s my mother. At all. She screams at me for every move I make. Yea, there will be times that I screw up, but to her, I screw up all the time. The worst part about everything is the extreme level she takes it to. She even threatens me, like just an hour ago, she threatened to “choke to sh** out of me” because I guess I was “disrespecting her” by telling her sorry for something so small and I guess she got mad at the way I said it even though I said it like any regular person would. And it wasn’t the first time. She’s threatened to:

Knock my head off
Choke the sh** out of me
Punch me in the throat
Kick me in my stomach, etc.

**And I don’t know if I should be worried, or prepared. And when I mean prepared, I mean getting ready to use self-defense. When I mean worried, I mean calling the police or running to a neighbor’s house. My mom has never been married, which means there was no divorce history or anything that could have made her this angry at ME. She doesn’t give me any freedom, whatsoever. If I’m going over my friend’s house, it takes a 48 hour verification from her, saying I can go. I just wanna be a TEENAGER. I’m still in my early teens, anyway. I don’t know why, but to me, she wants me to be a grown-up like I’m in my 30’s or something. She doesn’t treat me like a child. Again, she yells and screams at me EVERY DAY. She threatens me almost every day. I’m scared she’ll actually try to choke and kill me one day. She’s never been this angry with me.

****She makes me wonder: Does she really love me or does she just want me to obey her because she birthed me? I would confront a counselor, but last time I did that, she put on the innocent parent act and made it seem like I was the bad guy. I try to act older than my age, but I don’t think she understands that I’m only 13 and yes, I will screw up sometimes but that doesn’t give you the card to emotionally abuse me every single time that happens. I almost killed myself one day because of her. It was too much for me. I just wish she’d be more supportive and helping and caring. When she’s screaming at me, I cry every time. And when she sees one tear slide down my face, she automatically thinks I’m “weak” and she even called me a b**ch one time of that and never in my life I would think to hear my own mother, the person who is supposed to love and care for me, call me a b**ch. I just need some real good advice on how to deal with an emotional abusive mother. I really don’t want to live with her, but I also don’t want to live with anyone else in my family. A foster home would be better, but I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to live with anyone related to her. Sorry this was lengthy

Don't be sorry for telling the severity of abuse.
Do get help.
Please go to this site and contact them.

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline | National Resource Center for Mental Health Promotion and Youth Violence Prevention