Emotionally Abusive Fiance

What are your plans as to how you will survive now Depressed-Fiance?

Yes she works and I have sent her a message telling her I will be taking Police or legal action.

For now, to take each day as it comes and try to forgot that she ever existed.

Whatever property you lose, I think you won big by getting out now. I'd take her to court for your property or just tell her to choke on it. I wouldn't give her blackmail money.

Yes, she showed how bad she could be. Nasty woman, to hold your things for ransom.
Now you can be sure you made the right choice!

A song for you, may it help you see it through:

Skyscraper - Demi Lovato

So proud of you for leaving!! That's a great first step in proving your own worth to yourself. You deserve better. You deserve good things in life, and you deserve people who treat you with respect and dignity.

Thank you, means a lot.

I suppose a clean break was too much to hope for. Hang in there, I hope you can see this through quickly.

Is it your house?

If so, I would just break a window and go in and retrieve your property by force.

If you own the house than there is nothing illegal about breaking into your own house or damaging your own property.

You could also hire a locksmith to have the locks changed and to give you a new key which works better if you rent the place since in most places, you are allowed to change a lock on a rented house or Apt as long as you notify your landlord.

If she and her children are in the house, that is pretty close to assault. This is bad advice...

Assault only occurs if one puts his or her hands on the other individual.

Darkness was speaking of entering without permission of the ex provided he would still be within his rights.

The only caution would be - without the police presence it is easier for the ex to say he took something he shouldn't have or did something to her or the kids while there

He'd be breaking and entering which is a crime. Why would you encourage him to do that?!

He can get his things back via a legal mediator, or he can show up to her house with the police. Both are far better options for Depressed-Fiance than just breaking into her apartment without her knowing.

It is only a crime if it "does not belong to him" - he specifically asked that question and then said "if it is yours..."

He then offered up an option in the event he is renting (which would mean his name would also have to appear on the lease n thus he would be allowed equal access to the property)

He never advised illegal behavior. Have you never crawled through your own window when you forgot your key? Or called a locksmith if you couldn't do that and didn't want to have to damage property? I know I have..and I was never cited with any wrong doing... And yes, this was even when others besides myself lived there.

Regardless if it is his apartment, breaking a window to get inside could be easily interpreted as threatening behavior, even entering the apartment without permission, and is ill-advised. It could be considered assault under U.K. Law.

Section 39 - Common Assault - Gray and Co Solicitors

Is the OP in UK or US bc apparently assault is totally different between the two...

OK so I'm not a UK resident and therefore, know nothing about the law difference there. I was simply giving my advice assuming the laws would at least be similar to how they are in the US.

My bad.

Doesn't matter if he lives in the UK or the US. Advising him to crawl through his own window (we don't know if his name is on the lease either) will be used by his ex-fiance as a threatening act. If he took her to small claims court, and he did that, the judge would certainly not side with him. His third option is to just leave his things at her place and leave her alone and not respond to her email or text threats to him demanding more money from him. She got used to him paying for everything, despite her having a job. Now that he's gone, she wants him to keep supporting her financially. And her motivation is desperation, so of course any act by Depressed-Fiance of crawling through a window or breaking into her place to get his things, will just set her off all the more, to take action against him. To advise someone to break the law is foolish. Just foolish.

And to Crypts_of_the_mind: I repeat myself. It doesn't matter if Depressed-Fiance's name is on the lease. He got kicked out of the apartment by his ex-fiance. Have you not read through his threads and the descriptions of how she incites fights and arguments; how she strangled him one night he stopped by her parent's house because she perceived he said something mean to her, and that her own mother had to pull her off of Depressed-Fiance, whom she was strangling?

I'm just really shocked the two of you would think telling Depressed-Fiance to break in to his ex-fiance's place of residence was a good idea. This isn't tv. This is reality. People who have common sense, don't do things like that.

[,QUOTE=DarknessIsMyFriend;5648101]OK so I'm not a UK resident and therefore, know nothing about the law difference there. I was simply giving my advice assuming the laws would at least be similar to how they are in the US.

My bad.[/QUOTE]

As I've said, laws are different.

You keep saying that I advised him to break the law when I didn't.

If anybody here lacks common sense, it's you for not seeing that.

I'm getting bored of this little diversion.

Please don't reply to me again.

Here Depressed-Fiance, I found the UK guidelines for your situation:

Follow the link:

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/fa...-you-separate/

and how to end a tenancy agreement when you separate as a couple in the UK:

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ho...cy-agreements/

According to the website, you can apply for what's called an "occupational order" to regain entry into your shared residence, to get the rest of your belongings. That, and use a mediator if you have to.

[/QUOTE]

In the USA It DOES matter if his name is on the lease bc his fiance by USA LAW does not have the right to legally kick him out if that is the case, only the landlord or the police, or a court appointed judge would. Now, if you read my cautionary statement you will see that I said I would truly be cautious if you did this approach. In USA though, sometimes waiting on the courts or police to help you is months or years in the waiting process, so yes sometimes something like this is done WHEN LEGAL and when the person feels he or she can safely do it - meaning they generally wait til the other is out of the house. Now, neither of us have been insulting you. Just because UK and USA laws are different and you may not agree with them does not give you the right to insult us. Please refrain from further insults.

The best option is for Depressed-Fiancé to seek legal advice from a qualified legal representative. Based on the law of his area of residence, and based upon the particulars of his case, they will direct him legally, and make sure all of his rights are upheld.

Depressed-Fiancé , there are many qualified professionals who will be more than willing to give you the best legal advice on what your next course of action should be. Wishing you all the best! ☀️

Very much agreed

U do not under any circumstance deserve any of that!! Leave that relationship

Thanks for all your help and advice guys, much appreciated.

For your info, I'm actually in the UK.

Ok, so an update:

Last night I texted her to say that I wanted to collect the rest of my belongings that she has been holding to ransom and would pick them up that evening.

She replied by saying that 'she had made plans' and wouldn't be in. I know for a fact that is b*ll*cks because she has to watch her kids on a Tuesday night.

She said I could come over today to collect but she knows fine well that I would have been working and this wouldn't have been possible. I replied saying that wasn't suitable to which she replied 'Take it or leave it'.

I said that I would be over that evening (Tuesday) to collect my things to which she replied that she would leave my stuff in her front garden.

I went to get my things and sure enough all my belongings were just left abandoned in her front garden and she had shut the blinds probably so she wouldn't have to see me. However, all the things were not there so I tried calling her and knocking on the door but she did not answer.

I feel she is manipulating me and trying to still have control over me going by her behaviour and tactics...........I think I'm correct?