I'm advising this should not be read by anyone easily triggered/offended, ty.

I've been advised not to make this long so I'll try not to let myself drag. When a woman has sex with a guy, and, at the start, everything is ok, all is consensual, is it rape if the guy then does something that the woman objects to, if that woman is pleading with the guy to stop what they are doing, who is in the wrong,and is it rape...or, because sex began with two consenting adults, is that women then a tease?

This probably doesn't make sense, see, until this afternoon, I thought I was crystal clear, regarding the issues of consent. I'm ok, but was in a situation that nearly had a bad ending. I'm ok physically, I was at a party, I ran into a drunk "friend" who thought no meant yes. Luckily help came quickly and, although not hurt, nothing is making a lot of sense now. I'd appreciate I put from men and women on this.

[mimsies]

That is rape and assault. As soon as one party says to stop, i.e. withdraw consent, it is not OK for the other party to keep going. It is then time to stop.

[sin333]

No means no regardless!!
Doesn't matter if he thought you wanted to have sex or you actually wanted to have sex and then changed your mind. Stop means, Stop!! You shouldnt be questioning yourself on this.
He is very much in the wrong. I don't know too much of what happened so can't say if it's rape but I would say this is sexual assault. Are you ok?

[mimsies]

AND I want to clarify, I really do mean EITHER party. It is not ok to keep going when the other person says stop.

Even if it turned out ok and help came, it is still a pretty big trauma, and don't hesitate to get support and counseling or blame yourself for feeling bad, confused, shaken, violated, etc.

What you went through is not some little thing.

Thanks, yes....I'm ok. Am really lucky as other friends were around and they took me away from what had gone on; I posted a few hours after....have had some sleep and still a bit shaken, but nothing like as bad as I was. Sorry if post was alarmist n upon reflection, your replies are what I would say to anybody, about anyone....confusing though when it is you. Ty

[sin333]

So glad u feel better!! I understand what your saying. Don't know what I would do if it was me. Know some people are frozen to the spot and no words or shouts come out. U have courage even speaking about it. Take care hinney!x

[pachyderm]

Unlike most people, apparently, I don't see things in terms of "right and wrong", so I would only confuse you with any advice, most likely. It happened, you were frightened, understandably -- and perhaps the other person was, too, getting in over his head, and not understanding his own emotions.

Probably harder to think along these lines than to condemn...