[Angelshelpme]

I left after 40 years of marriage because of narcissistic abuse. Mostly emotional and some physical. I guess the reason I stayed was fear. I have moved out of the state to finally get away from him. I need some support! Has anybody out there been thru this?

[RubyRae]

I haven't been through this but I just wanted to let you know you are very courageous.And I wish you all the best.

[Gablesgirl1061]

Yes, I have just recently left a 30 year marriage because of emotional abuse. He never hit me, but slowly manipulated me and sucked away my life force. I was suicidal for several years because it all seemed so hopeless. I loved that man with everything I had until I had nothing g left to give. I was dead inside, emotionally numb. I wanted to die so desperately, just to escape from my life. I finally got therapy for my depression and over the past year came out of the FOG (fear, obligation & guilt). I am slowly recovering. I have no one to support me and feel so alone much of the time. But, I remind myself this is at least better than being abused. I have no understanding friends and my family lives far away. I'm determined to get through my recovery and try to remember that being alone makes me stronger in the long run, even if it is sometimes lonely.
I am angry about all the years I wasted loving that charming, handsome monster. I have finally cleansed myself of the love I felt for him. That is a very freeing experience-to emotionally detach from him.
I wish I could get in touch with other survivors near me, so we could support each other in person. Unless someone has been where we have been, they can't possibly understand or get it.
I wish you peace & happiness as you recover from the damage inflicted on you. You are not alone, there are thousands of us out there who know what you've endured. We are all survivors together.

[profound_betrayal]

Angelshelpme,
What an ordeal ... 40 years is a long, long time to have spent with someone, so this must be challenging (to say the least). I can't imagine what you feel, but at least you have YOUR own time left for you. With the abuser, they 'halve' your time (actually MORE ), since they suck so much from you emotionally! I hope that you can find what you need to heal from this.

i know emotional abuse and still struggle with fear (big time!!) & assertiveness. The control issues had me in a fog, not always understanding where i had boundaries re my own rights or feelings. Often scared. Like gablesgirl, i am alone, & it is difficult to make a living. i have no substantial work experience or skills so its a bit of a struggle.

i also wish that there were others nearby. Like so much, It isn't easy to understand unless 'you walk in someone else's shoes'

Rubyrae thanks for empathizing even though your experience is different. It is comforting.

I love PC for that