Let's just say I live in a pretty dysfunctional family. Would I be able to, despite my developmental issues (never told what they are) be a normal person, ride a Royal Enfield and not be classified as a "loonatic" by the rest of the world? Is this possible? Or I am really out of luck and the one shot I received in life didn't work out really well?

I have become sterile since my the onset of my recent hallucinations and delusions. So it's not like that I want to marry and have kids too, I would rather stay away from the word 'parenting.' The only thing I want to do in my life is an M.Sc, open a coaching institute and teach kids. Way different than doing research or practicing medicine, but after all I've went through, I have found that only teachers can help you sometimes.

There are things that I cannot post online, but my blessings go to such teachers.

[NatsukiKuga]

Perhaps the question ought to be whether one need be normal at all

Of course he does. Not every mentally ill person is "abnormal" (the abnormal ones are not-having-good-social-life) but as a person who has gone through severe trauma, I think one needs to meet minimum standards of society to be accepted and life life happily. Of course you need to be normal, in the sense live independently and do not require assistance from anyone.

One needs to be normal, would you like an abnormal person to be the secretary of UNO and create a nuclear war, or an abnormal person to become the president of World Health Organization and openly create a law that requires doctors to torture and kill black patients? Or would you like Marvel to have a president that has child porn in Avengers 4?

In the sense, I want to be normal, like riding my favorite gear bike, socialize with friends and SANE family, live life the way I like -- go to dinner with girlfriend and friends on a restaurant, watch movie at a theater with relatives, etc. -- play videogames and watch TV series. Be loved and love. But I cannot due to my own developmental issues.

[downandlonely]

I think the issue is probably with our definition of the word "normal" It's hard to define what normal is. If you are content with your life, I wouldn't worry about the word normal. I know people who cannot live alone, but I don't classify them as "abnormal".

I am not. My parents are lunatics. I continue my education and get a job at some point in my life, but they didn't prepare me for outside world. They show poor judgement about parenting. I am not even allowed to go outside on my own. Yet they still expect me to be the breadwinner of family and then ask me how I am not doing well in studies, have poor health, how much of a disappointment I am and I cannot even "stand in a decent manner."

[nicoleflynn]

Sometimes...normal...is just the setting on a dryer.

But I want to socialize too, and not be called names... like, living life in the way I wanted. But I am robbed of all of it.

[nicoleflynn]

YOU get to decide who you are and what you want to do. No one can stop you from doing that. I was not prepared for the outside world either (abusive mother, no father), but I persevered and learned on my own.

[Rive1976]

You can do whatever you choose to do. Is there a way to get away from your family? They seem toxic.

It's not possible with the environment they have put me in. I cannot move away from them. I am probably stuck here for lifetime. "Go outside only for college", ****'s sake.

It's not possible for a person to act sane in society if he's out there being terrorized by two lunatics.

[Rive1976]

Can you elaborate more?

[AmberB96]

What does "normal" mean anyways? You are unique in your own way and will do many things once you set your mind to it. Of course, there will be set backs, but that will only make your triumph better when you succeed. Keep making your decisions and do not let anyone tell you other. You know whats best for you, do what makes you happy.

Originally Posted by Dnester

Can you elaborate more?

Of course I can.


In brief (I cannot write in detail or the list of my problems with my parents would be a book) my mother has severe, untreated mental health conditions. She grew up in a very "poor environment" (again, it's another made-up story of hers, I will never believe it, my grandmother is one of the nicest people I have ever met) and so she seemingly could not get a government job here in our country. She is very misanthropic and manipulative, also very maladaptive, anxious, and irritable. She doesn't know how to live or how to parent, it's just not my experience, everyone of my relatives tells me that. And my father, he grew up in a very poor environment economy-wise. So he didn't have the basic privileges needed to grow up properly, so now I understand his greed for money.

My mother and father, since the day I was born, I feel like they swore to God or something like that. They wanted me to be in a good position in the government. So they went to such extent that

- I wasn't allowed to play outside
- I wasn't allowed to leave the house on my own (I am still not)
- I wasn't allowed to make friends
- I was subjected to a massively terrible judgement about life and society. They told me everyone is evil. That everyone in the world will jump at my throat. So I shouldn't go outside aside from "when I needed" which means school and college. Outside of that? Nope, I would "surrender to the vices of the world", they feared that I would act NORMAL. That I will hit on girls and do drugs. Now, as far as my understanding goes , hitting on girls and doing drugs is a normal phase of developmental phase. There's nothing wrong with that.

Now, here are some more points.
- I wasn't allowed to visit my relatives
- My relatives aren't allowed to visit me.

Now, here's their What-You-Can-Do list
- Watch TV day and night.
- Read books.

That's all. Aside from sleeping, brushing teeth, bathing (although my mom doesn't like me bathing, because of "shortage of water.")

I can use the internet for a while on our PC, but that's it. Substituent for their first point on the list.

I am sorry if it's hard to understand but I put it the best way I could.

I have asked every one of my relatives whether or not that something can be done about my life. They all say I should be patient. That's a nicer way of saying "You will DO get freedom to do whatever you want, but it's still years away." And even that's not guaranteed (in my opinion) because I have developmental disorders. And that some scars on the brain never heal. Like I will never get to be a good at my job. Unless of course something magical happens (it happened last week, you may know, Dnester) and I suddenly get my cognition back long enough to be a successful scientist.

I can do other non-science related jobs with my B.S in zoology, but I don't want that. Any job can be hard with a cognition, abuse history and things like that. So I don't see a reason not to aim at post-doc research in neurology/psychiatry.

[Rive1976]

Wow that is awful. Can you live with a family member? You could call adult protective services and see if they can place you somewhere.

[Classypigeon]

Like nicole said you can do whatever you choose to do.
Thats not to say its not difficult - Its hard as hell. Its what you grew up in for goodness sake.
Learn to say no and mean it to set boundaries to seek independence from toxic people. And can a person overcome a negative past? Ever heard of les brown? I mean you have a flippin degree and are breadwinner? for your family, sounds like your halfway there.
Sorry for the month late reply just saw this. CP 💛