[QueenCopper]

My cousin done so many horrible things to me. For once in my life I don't have to worry about being in contact with him. His Grandmother (my great aunt) passed away and she was the only reason I had to talk to him. Even as adult he would hug me, grab my breast, grab my butt or kiss me on the cheek and tell me how beautiful I am. Unfortunately I was so afraid of him I would always freeze when he would touch me. I do not feel relief, I now feel sadness, and I am confused as to why. I have cried so much and it started when I realized it was over. I do not have to worry about him touching me or kissing me ever again. The flashbacks are not helping and I don't undertake why they are so heavy in my head right now. It is supposed to be over. But I don't feel like it.

[magicalprince]

It's good that you can hopefully cut all contact with him. There's no reason you should have to be treated like that and end up feeling awful about it.

[BLUEDOVE]

This was a large part of your mind for however long,so suddenly its
gone and there is this empty space left,only its not empty,you are
still with the abuse and revulsion you felt because of him---which is perfectly understandable. You need to give yourself TIME,and
you need to FILL that time with life-enhancing activities and self-
care.Try this book:"Self-Compassion",by Kirstin Neff ; she has website too. And there is site with all sorts of interests all over the
world,including your area,its 'meetups.com',please have a look.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE