am very sad... and sick which is making the sadness worse... my father.. his rape...

but mostly am sad that my mom.. would try to fix my body.. by soaking me in a hot tub.. so that no one would find out about what my father did to me...the ripping.. the seering... pain....owie..owie.. owie...

I feel sorry for my Mom... so very unable to cope.. with the consequences of anything....

i think.. that there are just some things.. maybe.. we should know.... especially about our moms..

[youOme]

((((free))))

Horribly sorry for your pain, I sympathize. It's all just unnatural and something a child should never experience.

[okiedokie]

Hi Friend,
Your post was timely for me. As you know, I'm truly sorry for all the suffering you endured as a child. A little child.

While my brother and I were being brutalized by my father my mother listened outside the door but did not come in. She suspected, but did not investigate.

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER???? I would NEVER let happen to my children what SHE let happen to hers!!!!!

And now she's dead and I can't love her anymore, or miss her terribly. I wish her sister never told me her suspicions on Thanksgiving. What the hell was she thinking? She's a %#@&#! psychologist, no less.

But freewill, as you can see, I and many others here share your misery. Thank you so much for posting what had to be very difficult to post. You helped me.
Love,
Okie

[pachyderm]

> WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER????

She was afraid. Did not know how to intervene safely.

[key12345]

Hello

I hope you get help that'll make you less sad and move on with your life.

I'm sorry for your sadness.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
i think.. that there are just some things.. maybe.. we should know.... especially about our moms..

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Yes, I so very much agree(knowing about our moms)---- there is no applying for motherhood that states-- "one must be free of their own baggage in which you will provide all that a child needs to growup secure, healthy and well adjusted".....
mothers are human too-- they make mistakes-- sometimes huge life-altering ones. they can be weak, hurtful and abusive or even neglectful-- sometimes due to their own pasts.

I think a mother that abuses and or neglects is a mother with unresolved baggage of her own....... not that that excuses her..... just kind of explains some things, like maybe-- it wasn't that we weren't worth protecting or loving.... just that perhaps she couldn't, considering from where she came.....

freewill

mandy

yes.... my mom and my dad both.. came from really horrific backgrounds...and they.. ended up marrying..

And my mom.. had such terrible mental health issus..and back then.. in a rural setting... there just wasn't any help for mental help.. barely even for the most basic of physical things...

I don't blame my mom...

I alternate between feeling numb... and feeling pain...

I hurt.. really hurt...

Because I am DID... my alters had this knowledge... and the circumstances.. the body memory work T .. and trusting my T... brought about the "right" time to share with all..

Sooo... it was meant to be shared.. so I could heal... the pain.. very intense right now

The final piece of my DID puzzle is now in place... I am not sure what that means..