aaahhhhh family.....maybe triggering....

I got a phone call from my aunt. My aunt means well but well, she KILLS me…..happy new year right? Heres the conversation.
HER: HI, its aunt mary. Just wanted to see if you were ok.
ME: im ok, happy new year. You sound down. Are you ok?
H: yes im ok. Just thinking about husband, (passed)
M: sorry bout that.
H. You are doing so well im so proud of you. You were so neglected, so abused. And you must always feel so horrible
M: OK….sure….they are not around anymore (the Parents) so I don’t want to be reminded of how resentful I am towards them. Because I am already pretty aggravated at them.
H: well think about it. You were soooo abused and kicked to the curb all the time. Im shocked you turned out as well as you did. Provided what you dealt with. Can I ask you a question?
M: sure…..big mistake….big…huge
H: Did your brother ever do anything to you?
Bottom line was I told her off. And thanked her for messing with my perfectly good new years eve. Thanks for bringin up that I was abused, neglected, and talked to like the biggest piece of crap in the world. Im very aware of how I was raised. I don’t need to be reminded daily. Why not just wait and screw up my bday as well? I know she means well. But it was killer. I was in a good mood but everytime I think about it. She brought up so much crap. I just didn’t need to hear. Just venting. Thanks. I was in bad shape but called my new mom and she talked me through it. Thank god for her. I love her….Why would you do that to somebody? I know she means well. But geez. Wait till a holiday right?

Colleen

Colleen,

I'm sorry to hear about this. I struggle sometimes with a lot of the same things. I want people to be supportive, but I need them to be there for me in my time and in my way. Some get it, some don't. It can certainly mess up a day.

I guess I just wanted you to know that I understand where you've been today.

be well,

mtd

Thanks, I appreciate that. very much...I just dont get it.
It just triggered a lot of crap. and I just recently posted here about my abuse. like a WEEK ago. so its raw right now. I almost feel like cutting today but i am trying not to. I know its not going to help. I just didnt want to hear it. Just when i feel im in a good mood it pops in my mind and it dredges up crap i just dont want to deal with right now.

feel like hiding.......is that dumb?

me

she just called again. and again i thought it was my mom. and picked up. just called to say shes sorry she destroyed my night. and brought up crap again....

shutting down.......again

C, sorry that your aunt brought up these bad memories but you know she meant well. Sometimes when people are trying to be supportive they just say all the wrong things. I'd compare it to walking up to a wheelchair bound paraplegic and saying, "you're amazing, you're just like a normal person." It sounds reasonable at first until you realize the underlying message is "I don't think of you as normal".

Sorry C. Thinking of ya.

Cyran0

Cy,

Thanks for the encouragement. I know she means well. it just seems like EVERY conversation she repeats and repeats and it just tears me apart. it brings up old stuff that I am just now starting to deal with. I havent even scraped the surface of what i need to let out. So today was particularly hard on me.

That being said, youre response helps immensly. Glad to see you back around and hoping you are feeling good tonite.

Hugs to you, my friend.

Colleen

Sounds like your Aunt is dealing with something and projecting it towards you. Next time..Tell her to get some therapy..She needs it!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!


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Cthomas said:
I got a phone call from my aunt. My aunt means well but well, she KILLS me…..happy new year right? Heres the conversation.
HER: HI, its aunt mary. Just wanted to see if you were ok.
ME: im ok, happy new year. You sound down. Are you ok?
H: yes im ok. Just thinking about husband, (passed)
M: sorry bout that.
H. You are doing so well im so proud of you. You were so neglected, so abused. And you must always feel so horrible
M: OK….sure….they are not around anymore (the Parents) so I don’t want to be reminded of how resentful I am towards them. Because I am already pretty aggravated at them.
H: well think about it. You were soooo abused and kicked to the curb all the time. Im shocked you turned out as well as you did. Provided what you dealt with. Can I ask you a question?
M: sure…..big mistake….big…huge
H: Did your brother ever do anything to you?
Bottom line was I told her off. And thanked her for messing with my perfectly good new years eve. Thanks for bringin up that I was abused, neglected, and talked to like the biggest piece of crap in the world. Im very aware of how I was raised. I don’t need to be reminded daily. Why not just wait and screw up my bday as well? I know she means well. But it was killer. I was in a good mood but everytime I think about it. She brought up so much crap. I just didn’t need to hear. Just venting. Thanks. I was in bad shape but called my new mom and she talked me through it. Thank god for her. I love her….Why would you do that to somebody? I know she means well. But geez. Wait till a holiday right?

Colleen

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