[need2move4ward]

sibling:
~if I don't give him my full attention he gets angry, calls me a c***,
~when my mom had a heartattack a week ago, he did nothing except go to Walmart for her.
~ he uses mom's car not his--he keeps his car in HER garage
~I have been working hard, and franklly, I do not want anything to do for what he stands for, my dad already wrote him off (he is a registered sex offender) my dad said he is a sick person--and I am a survivor of sexual abuse from ages 7 to 10.
~ I am afraid that things are going to get worse until I can get out of here. I have been pounding the pavement for almost 3 weeks to leave.
Meanwhile, my mom is sick of him but won't say it- she is in denial-he has turned into a really SICK, angry, self centered human being.

My question please is:
How do I protect myself? I am trying to find another place to go, and never come back hopefuly, and my mom is in denial.
He reminds me of all the emotional and psycholgical abuse I have siffered--some from him.
Do I need to ask my therapist where I can live? I was away for a year, and he treated my mom the same way---I am deathly afraid that he will give her another heart attack and he will cause her death---I am not kidding---there is something definately wrong with him. He is not the normal psychiatric mentally ill person.
He is verbally and emotionally abusive.

What are my options? Even after moving out?
I am getting chest pains and severe anxiety--didn't think it could happen but it is. I think it has to do with him
I am VERY fragile right now and trying to heal---going back to school in 2 weeks after taking a year off.

Is this abuse or am I wrong?

[need2move4ward]

I forgot to add, my therapist said it sounded like a "reactive" situation here---at my mom's house.
I'm usually on my own--but just came back from upstate and realized that i changed so much that i can't stand to be around my brother.

Anyway going to bed exhausted.
I hope I do not go crazy!

[Rhapsody]

You are not wrong...... this is abuse.

If I may ask? - is this person you talk of over 18 years old and if yes, then why not have an adult make him leave the house via telling him or with the support of your local police department?

And as far as IF and WHEN you move out - you will probably be better off, for he will not be able to harass you just because he feels like it.

[DePressMe]

need2move4ward,
I have a brother who is sick—violent, abusive. He abuses my biological father. At one point in time, he abused me. As hard as it was, I decided I had to take care of myself. So, I cut off all ties with him and my father—my father abused me also. I had to move away and “divorce” myself from the situation. I have recently visited my father and I am contemplating visiting him again, but I will never have anything to do with my brother.

I understand your conflicted feelings about wanting to protect your mother—scared he will give her another heart attack. It is difficult to watch a sibling abuse your parent. In the long run, I had to let go of the situation because it was my father’s choice to allow the abuse. I offered him ways out but he did not accept them. It is also difficult to be there to support your parent and yet not get caught up in the sickness.

Remember, the most important person in this situation is you. You need to take care of yourself. Maybe someday you will be able to help your mom, but right now, it sounds like the best thing you can do is take care of yourself and it also sounds like that means getting away from the abuse.

I believe deep down my father would have wanted me to take care of myself because, even through all this, I believe he loved me and wanted what was best for me. Maybe someday I will be able to help my father—the only way I will be able to do that is if I am stable and recovered from my abuse. So, maybe, someday you will be able to help your mother too…but first, help yourself.

It sounds like you are taking the right steps by looking for a place to go. I hope you can find a place soon. Please stay strong.