[Rosalita2009]

Things go well for me, I have come far in my recovery, and then the past hits me. I then see I have so much inside of me that I still can not ignore, that I need to share. I get such bad memories of the abuse, and then the anger arises. I start seeing myself in the mirror in a distorted way. I think who is that ugly person looking at me in the mirror. It is as if though I see myself in a distorted way. Plus, when I am dealing with so much pain I do not feel good about myself. The pain is so unbearable, and I do not want to be around people. I fear they will see me the way I see myself in the mirror, or they will sense how badly I feel in the inside. It is as if though I am carrying this terrible thing deep inside of me. Thank you for letting me share.

[sabby]

(((((((((( Rosalita )))))))))

Welcome to PC....you have found a great place to help you release your bad memories and find help and support in dealing with your emotions and anger.

I am sorry you are feeling this way. And I'm sure there are many here who can relate to what you are going through.

Please take good care of yourself and post back when you are up to it. We're here for you!


sabby

[chaotic13]

Welcome to PC Rosalita

[mtd]

Welcome Rosalita,

So many of us look into the mirror as you do, and see our own pain. And truly, many of us worry that others will see us the same way and we don't want to be that vulnerable. But you deserve better for yourself. You deserve to have help in healing -- you do not need to carry around all that pain alone. You do not need to be ashamed of your pain or hide from people who can help you. Reach out for help, a little bit at a time, and you can begin to heal. Things will get better, if you let them. You are not alone.

Welcome.

mtd

[DePressMe]

Hi Rosalita, I can relate to seeing a distorted self in the mirror…of being afraid that others will somehow know how “bad” I am on the inside…in reality, when I tell people my story, they generally treat me with respect—they respect how far I have come and how much I have had to fight to get where I am at. I try real hard to internalize their positive feelings about me. I still sometimes fight that person in the mirror and I still sometimes feel like something is wrong with me, but those times are growing further and further apart from one another. Getting in touch with your anger can be a positive thing. You have a right to be angry—it is a normal and natural emotion. I am glad you shared with us. Trusting others is a good step towards healing. Welcome to PsychCentral.