[somebodysomeday]

bad days or bad hours just hit me so fast and so hard and my world comes crumbling down and i feel like i can't and don't want to cope anymore...the memories are too intense...the dreams are too frightening....the tears are too real....the pain feels so strong..the wounds so fresh....the anger is rageing inside me....but all i can do is cry....for there is nothing...nothing that can heal me...nothing that can fix what has been done to me...nothing that can change it....nothing that can make it go away....nothing that can take away the pain......nothing....

and the only thing i have is my friends....

if i didnt have them....id be dead....because i already struggle so hard to cling to a reason to live....

my friends are my reason...they give me hope..the give me love....

all i wanted was love....and all i got was betrayal.........

[mtd]

Hi,

Right now you are grieving over what you have endured and what has been lost. As painful as it is, please know that we all must go through it in a recovery process and, just as important, know that you are not alone in your pain. People are here to help you. It will get better, as you gradually work through your pain and build positive experiences and memories with the friends you have.

The ways you have started to express yourself here make it clear that you are reaching out to heal. That is a courageous and positive step. Your healing has begun. Hang in there. You will experience love.

be well,

mtd

I hear you sweetie

I hear you loud and clear...betrayal is one f the most triggering and awful things that can happen to anyone, especiallyif it happens over and over again by people in authority, parents, friends, school .....

It is so hard to overcome, because with is comes mistrust, insecurity, low self esteem, lack of confidence....after 40 odd years I am slowly, very slowly finding my feet...with it comes severe anxiety and depression. I have never ever been religious, spiritual yes.....I have started prauing and I have found some kind of a light going on somewhere deep inside......I'm not telling you to pray, just how it has been for me...a comfort....

It's hard when we're feeling so down to find anything to grasp a hold of....believe me I've een there...desparate, suicidal even...but there is ALWAYS hope...always...please hold on to that if nothing else, there are people here who have beenthrough the most horrendous experiences and are here to tell others that you can pull through...and you will. I know this because you are reaching out here, that is a start.

I wish you love, peace of mind and hope...always remember there is hope...

hugs if that's ok, my sincere best wishes, pm me anytime.....

Jinnyann xxxxxxx

((((((((((((((((someonesomeday)))))))))))))))))
u know what mtd is right
and grab hold onto ur friends as tight as u can
i swear we will help u get thru this

xoxo

[DePressMe]

Hang in there. I know it sounds hallow, but it can get better and it will get better because you are taking the steps to make it better. Unfortunately, sometimes, recovery does involve tears. I know, it seems really unfair—after all we have already suffered, why more pain? I can’t answer that question. Hang onto your friends and anything else positive in your life. Soon you will find you are able to loosen that grip a little as recovery starts to set you free from the past.

I have great compassion for where you are at in the healing process—I have been there too. It is a very difficult place to be, but I have faith that you can pull through this turbulent time. Reaching out to others like you are doing here on PsychCentral is a difficult thing to do, but it shows how strong you truly are…you are heading in the right direction… I wish you did not have to go through the tears. Hang in there.

[somebodysomeday]

yes everyone is right,...i am reaching out for help...im desperate for help....i want it so badly because i want to leave the hell im in...im here because i trust el squeelio so much and if she says im safe here i know i am....el squeelio i am clinging so so tightly to you...you have no idea..u are the only one i trust with all this pain....ur helping me so much and it means the world to me....to have someone to talk to who understands is a blessing...i hope i can get through this...i want to...i think i have a little bit of hope im holding onto so tightly and wont let go...i want to learn about dissociation so that it stops frightening me so much.....my mobile alarm is my life saver....ill do whatever it takes to heal...im going to a psychiatrist...im terrified...i don't know what to say...but i need help...coz i want to live...i want my life back...i want what i lost...i want what was stolen from me...
i don't ever want to see him again...or anyone who stood by and turned a blind eye...and that includes my mum....but the child in me loves her and needs her and wants her to protect me and keep me safe and over and over i give her one last chance adn she fails me again and again....its like i never learn but can't ever be strong enough and stand against her...she has more power over me than HE does....its all so scary....
i just want to feel safe...

(((((((somebodysomeday)))))))))))))
ELS is such good friend. SHe is right you are safe here.
What he did was wrong. Anyone who closed thier eyes was indeed IMHO wrong too.
Everyone is important, that includes you
Get what ever help you need, and hang tight to your friends
muffy

I hear you loud and clear on the mum thing....I made the decision to keep her away from me.....I miss the mum I always wanted, not who SHE is .....

take care, Jinny xx