[misty324]

I visited my therapist for my monthly appointment last night and had a very good session - one that really left me with a new outlook and I thought I would share.

My story is that I was most likely abused as a small child. I don't know by who or when....or really any of the details. But it was eluded to by family members, then basically confirmed by medical doctors and my therapist. I have felt that the sense of not knowing the full story was holding me back in life - that I somehow had to know the truth before I could understand who I really am. My therapist asked me one question last night. "Would knowing what happened make me a better person?" I can't honestly say that it would. Because then, not only would I have a sense of...well, probably hate for the person that did it, but I wouldn't feel complete closure then until I had received an apology which is not likely.

I never put things into that perspective. I would most likely be a far worse person than I am right now if I did know. She also helped me to think about the fact that what happened in the past did not make me who I am today. I'm basically a good person who causes no harm to others or myself. I try to be a good citizen, I'm kind to animals, I like to be nice to people. The things that I do today are what make me who I am today and I can make myself what I want to be.

I left last night with a new motto of "live for today and have no regrets". I can't say that any other therapy session has been so beneficial for me than last night's.

And so for those of you who are survivors like me, I just want to share that concept with you. Don't let anyone or anything from your past control who you are today. Try and live your life in the moment. It's not always about apologies or knowledge...or even understanding. It's about being proud of overcoming something to become the special person that you are today. Reward yourself for the kind and special things you do today , no matter how small - petting an animal, smiling at the waitress, reading some poetry, drinking a glass of water...those little things are what makes you what you are today. And not only will the world be better because of those little things, you will too

Sorry to go on so long, but I feel so inspired after last night that I felt the need to share my thoughts in the hopes that they can help someone else who might be going through a similar challenge. I wish you all peace and hope that you can feel a little bit stronger each day and discover what a special person you are!

Namaste,
Misty

[Cyran0]

Misty, congrats on a really positive session.

Cyran0

thats great Misty!

[sujunew]

(((((misty)))))
thanks for such a great post. I am really happy that you are doing so well, and that you are so positive. My t has asked me the same question- would knowing really make a difference but for me, unfortunately, it would. Because I have so many unanswered questions and so much of my behaviours today could be a result of that time, I feel I need those answers to have closure. It won't change things, I don't need to face him, I am not needing to work through those specific issues, I just need to KNOW. Then I can have closure from this part of my life, either way. The closure will some solely from knowing- that is the part that is eating away at me.
So congratulations on your work and progress in your t session and I wish you well on the rest of your journey.

[mtd]

Really good work, Misty. Great breakthrough. Very affirming for yourself and your right -- the right of us all -- to embrace the present and choose to live for today.

Thank you for sharing your inspiration.

mtd