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#1
Nov 05, 2024, 05:04 PM
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hey everyone just found this forum. needed to share about being called today and how it made me feel. my mother was abusive and now that she's clean it's like its all supposed to go away. Ive been distant for years now but she called today because she ran into my friend and her family at the polls. I'm glad my friends okay but I feel really weird. I have anxiety bad and feel like I'm supposed to talk to her now even though after years of therapy I know I'm not obligated.
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 Pflowers, unaluna, volsinchy
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#2
Nov 06, 2024, 06:36 PM
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That must have been a surprise @ghostsinthehouse - how long has it been since you talked to her?
She sounds like she wants to reconcile but that might not be easy. Would emails be easier at first? CANDC [If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]
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Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
| ghostsinthehouse
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#3
Nov 06, 2024, 07:29 PM
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@CANDC it's been months since we last texted. I haven't seen her in person in about a year or more. Emails are a good idea that would definitely be more bearable. I didn't respond to her text today. I think she might want to reconcile but also someone told her I was a real estate agent with a lot of money so she was also checking up on that. She didn't want to ask me about that but she did anyway which is quite funny. I think that emails would definitely be easier but most of me wants to never respond to her again, but that isn't the grown up thing to do I don't think lol
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#4
Nov 07, 2024, 10:37 AM
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That is awful to experience abuse from your parent. No one should have to go throught that @ghostsinthehouse - I hear you.
I felt like many things were forced on me by my parents and so I kept a grudge going in my head for a long time. I really suffered by it and the anger that accompanied it. I finally got some peace when I realied that my hlappiness is in my mind. When I am angry I am not happy. You may be right she may be trying to get something from you. That can be an uncomfortable feeling. Now that they are gone I am starting to appreciate some of the kindness they showed me when I was a helpless infant and toddler. I do not want to take those grudges to my deathbed so I am learning to let go of them. It even helped me when mom was alive to thank her for some things she did when I was struggling. It helped me. CANDC [If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]
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Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
| ghostsinthehouse
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#5
Nov 25, 2024, 12:41 AM
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I think deep down you know you don't want to talk to her otherwise you'd have reached out yourself. If having her in your life doesn't make you happy you should consider why you're talking to her, is it obligation? She didn't feel obligated to treat you better in the past... Has she ever apologized or talked to you about the abuse she subjected you to, or is it just a thing you're not supposed to talk about? If it's the latter I'd understand not having contact with her, sounds horrible.
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| ghostsinthehouse
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#6
Dec 04, 2024, 03:10 PM
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@123Luke123 I did sit her down a few years ago and told her that she hurt me, that I have to heal and needed space. She didn't really understand and doesn't remember much if any of what happened to me. She was high all the time. But, I appreciate you reaching out with that and being understanding. Usually people don't get why or how I could not want to talk to my mom.
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#7
Dec 05, 2024, 04:14 PM
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id also like to share that I'm writing a book about my life (I've been working on it for a few years now. I'm a solid 16k words in, about 45 pages double spaced. It's very dark at certain times. A majority of what I've written is dark and revealing. A lot of it centers on the way my mother treated me. I'm wondering what it will be like when I go to get published and if she reads it. I wont let that silence me but I am a little worried
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