[happyflowergirl]

One thing that I am struggling with is that when you finally have the courage to speak of what happened to you, some people will think you are over exaggerating or they don't believe you. This is so unbelievably hurtful because why would someone make up such horror that happened to them.
For me I think part of my telling is part of my recovery, I was threatened with death as a child if I told, so now that I am an adult, I feel I need to tell.
I was in a group once and some thought I was only telling to make what happened to me seem worse than what happened to others. This is so hurtful, because I don't feel that way, what did happen to me was really bad, but in no way am I saying that my abuse was worse than others. It is just hurtful and I am beginning to believe my story is best left for my T to help me with, and not with the public. Does anyone else have this problem?

[Cyran0]

Hey happy. It's hard for those who haven't experienced abuse to believe how severe it can be. They quite literally don't get it. My advice is to carefully choose who you share your story with. Only disclose with supportive understanding people so you don't have to endure the hurt of disbelief.

This site is acually a good safe place to talk about your abuse so if it helps, post your story.

Be safe.

Cyran0

[Cthomas]

I had a lot of people think it wasnt happening too.

I think in part because i covered it up real well for the most part for a lot of years. I agree with Cyran0, be choosy in whom you tell.

Hope you feel better today

Colleen

[happyflowergirl]

Hi CryonO,

I guess I should be happy that they really can't believe it because that means it didn't happen to them, so they can't relate to it.

I have told part of my story a long time ago here and you were right, people were supportive including you. Thanks for reminding me.

[happyflowergirl]

Thanks Colleen,

I was good too as an actress of what was happening to me as a child. I am trying, Thursday seems so far away right now.

[Cthomas]

Heres hoping thursday comes quickly for both of us!!!!!

take care,

Colleen

[shame]

yup ~ i can relate to this one.
Sorry this is happening to you ... i know what that feels like...and it hurts so bad.
Speak what you need to .. it frees you the more you let it out..
doesnt really matter if anyone believes you ...although validation of what happened to you would certainly help you.
if is any consolation - God was there and saw everything ... He knows. He is all that matters.
People can believe what they want - doesnt mean they are right.
The more you talk about it - the more you will get power over it and will not be able to control your life anymore!
All that really matters is God knows.
Glad you have a good T to talk this over with .
I dont have an answer for this really because I am going through the same - although i take comfort in knowing God saw it all and He validates me.

[happyflowergirl]

Thank you, that was nice of you to say.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((happyflowergirl))))

Thank you for posting your feelings. I too feel that way. Abusers so many times threaten those they abuse because being young, it sticks. But also, there are times when the abuse some of us suffer and go through, is so horrendous that they (the abusers) know that what they do will be so hard to believe that that that is why they threaten. I never told anyone until I was well into my adult years and even now I am terrified of the rejection I will receive.

Abusers know that there are things they do that people just cannot wrap around their minds in any way. They could never think that evilly or act in such a way or think anyone else could think in that way. The truth is, there are a lot of people who do things because they know people will never think it true.

You being willing to reach out for validation is important. Here you will get validation and listened to and cared about. We support one another and carry one another through the hard times. And are there to share a smile or laugh at other times too.

There is nothing I would not believe as I know evil and how they shut you up. Abuse is abuse and it matters not what but that you are listened to and heard. No one would put themselves through pain and the tears and agony that goes with abuse. It does take courage and you have taken that courage and I applaud you for that. Thank you for sharing.

cami

[happyflowergirl]

Thanks Cami,

I am sorry that you understand but it is nice to know I am not alone. My old T told me my abuse is some of the worse he has ever heard and he works in that area. But telling is scary, it makes you feel like bad goods or something. Intellectually I know I am not, but emotionally it has been instilled in for so long it is hard not to believe. Thank you so much for posting.

[pachyderm]

> it makes you feel like bad goods...

I am familiar with the feeling. You have learned or been taught to feel that way, I think. It is not necessarily so!

[Kiya]

"Does anyone else have this problem? "
What i thought you were asking was along different lines. I have had troubble at work due to triggers and trying to get ppl to understand that it really isn't a game. Triggering me can put me into an altered state or a younger age and if i'm driving when that happens... well... that needs no further explanation. Thankfully i am out of this job now, but my co-workers were saying really innaprpriate things in the office, sneaking up on me to scare me, tickling me, jabbing me in the ribs.... it was pretty severe and i couldn't get them to lay off. I told them that my car is "G rated" (so i don't switch out) and they said "Not any more Kiya!" =( At one point, i even scratched the gal because she was trying to tickle me and a. that is nonsense in an office! b. i'll trigger c. i HATE being tickled. Well - i did switch into my feral animal part that reached out and scratched her. She was totally shocked. But it was totally deserved. THis was after 10 months of telling her to knock it off and also my work did nothing when I reported it.
Ok, that was long winded.
Kiya

[pachyderm]

> i did switch into my feral animal part...

That'll show 'em!

[Kiya]

heh - yeah i guess so

...and further more, hissssssssssssssss!!!