a wish.... very triggering...

If... I had but one wish... I would gift it you...
my father..
we both know.. that you would use it.. to wish I had never been born... a daughter.. instead of a son.. a daughter.. of no use on a farm.. a child.. born with legs that needed to be fixed... and you.. not wanting to have to spend.. the money nor the time to do that.. after all... I am not your daughter.. I am my Mother's daughter.. you told me that enough while I was growing up - though.. I am biologically your child, I was never your daugther...

my wish.. gifted to my father... to be shared... with you my mother...
we both know.. that you would use it.. to wish I had never been born... you did not want children.. your mother.. my grandmother.. forced you into having children... you.. my mother.. a pioneer for women.. in a day in age where women did not get BS degrees.. did not get masters degrees.. did not become principals of schools.. you didn't care... with whom.. you left me.. if I ate breakfast.. if there was food to have breakfast...

my wish gifted to my father shared with my mother and then.. shared again.. with you.. my older sister..
we both know... that you would use it.. to wish I had never been born... you did not want a younger sister... alot of older sibs do not want younger sibs.. but you really did not want a younger sib... you focused your anger on me...our father.. abused you.. then turned to me.. and you blamed me.. for losing your father... at his funeral.. a few short years ago.. you did not acknowledge that we were sisters.. that we were sibs.. that I had a father... you.. you.. were the only one that had a father.. you were the only one that had a father that died...

me... my name is "Nothing".... an alter of freewill's... "Nothing" is my name because I am nothing.. worthless.. of having no value...

I have changed my mind... I keep my wish.... and I will use it for me..

I wish.. to be granted... that I was unborn..

The world... and my "family"... to be left in a better condition... for never having.. had me ...living.. ever... in the fist place...

I save you all the trouble "my family".... to even having to have to make a wish - it is too much effort.. for you to expend on me...

"Nothing".... a nothing...

I am so sorry you are hurting....I don't think you are "nothing" because you are something to us here. You are someone who deserve to feel loved and feel part of a family.
You can make a family amongst whomever you wish! If you want to include your friends here, that's ok. It is up to you.
I know what it's like to feel like you are nothing in a family. I was the same with my father and step-mother. I was my fathers' child and my step-mother hated me....I slept alone in the attic and had to take care of my younger bro and sis as well as do all the chores. Food often got kept from me if I didn't perform duties to her standards! Enough about me...I just want you to know that I can, some-what, understand and it SUCKS!
I want to send you lots of to surround yourself with!

Just so ya know...if you were never born I never would have had the pleasure of meeting you...or anyone in the "freewill" family....and I like you all!
BJ

i am glad you were born... and if i had awish i would wish i had a friend ... just as you are... thank you for your friendship...lyn

We can all wish to never be born, but the fact of life is that we were. We had no choice about that. Some are born into functional, happy families, and some are born to dark, destructive places and people, and most of us are somewhere in between.

Live and show everyone how spectacular you are despite those choices that you did not make.