My pride, these men,
Have taken it from me.
-Billy Talent



sorry if i don't post much or at all
&
sorry if this gets pulled

if only dad had just killed me when i was born like he did little brother
or if mum had never had me in the first place
that way i wouldn't be so triggered that i spent so bloody long just trying to write this because i'm shaking so bad i tap each key a bunch of times by accident and lose the ability to spell
so triggered past few days, sorry if i don't post, alts have been mostly in control
if dad had done that i wouldn't have to go through this non-stop hell of nightmares and flashbacks and voices in my head and hallucinations
no, he knew he'd have his fun with me only if i was alive, i was born for them to toy with, with their filthy dirty sick twisted hands
& somehow i'm the bad one
stupid bad dirty ugly burden lonely angry sad kid
been so triggered past few days can't talk here
not a survivor
i wish i hadn't survived

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((vince))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
i wish there was something i could do or say

[mtd]

You don't have to apologize Griffe. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't ask for this pain. Selfish, despicable people gave it to you -- they are the only ones who have something to apologize for.

You're doing the best you can with what you were given. No apologies are owed for that.

I share your pain. You are not alone in recovery, friend.

Be well,

mtd

[onlymedid]

(((((Griffe)))))
You don't need to apologize for anything. It wasn't fair that you were treated the way you were.
Continuing to blame your self only gives the power and control of your emotions and mental state to them again.
I know how hard it is to NOT let them into your mind, but if you can try to take back the control and try to think better of yourself a little bit at a time, that gives the control back to YOU. You deserve it because you are such a wonderful person and I am thankful that I have you as a friend.
Please give yourself big safe hugs from me.

BJ

[Blue93]

(((((((((((((((((Vince)))))))))))))))))))))))
Nothing i can say to make you feel better right now probably so just telling you i'm glad you survived

<font color="purple">I can't really say anything here, but I just want you to know that I'm really glad a met you. You're a very kind person. The only people at fault are the abusers, I don't understand why they would hurt you, or other children...but it has nothing to do with you. Like you said, they're just sick and twisted people. Very sick and very twisted. </font>