[iamtwilight]

he was sober until just now, when he came to his room (where i am now because his computer is faster) and took his keys and mumbled "well well..." and i asked what, and he said nothing.

i know he's going to go buy beer.

he's gonna be mean again.

....later

ok. i called my mom. she said she's coming home right now.

i hope she'll make it before he's too drunk!

-crosses fingers-

twilight

[pegasus]

Keep safe! ((((((((((( iamtwilight )))))))))))

[iamtwilight]

ok he's going to sit in his car with his phone.
at least he's not going to sit in the living room calling me names -whew-
but they're going to fight w/ mom because he said he wants the situation with her to be clear. she threatened him w/ a divorce last nite. she's done it so many times before but she never just really does it and i wish she would.

last nite dr. phil said it's better for children to be from a broken home than to live in one.

mom is afraid dad will hurt himself. we don't care either day. we wish him dead.

bah. well, at least i have my own privacy for now & can watch animaniacs on youtube.


twilite

[iamtwilight]

(((pegasus)))) thanks! i'm safe for now =)

[Lenny]

Originally Posted by iamtwilight

(((pegasus)))) thanks! i'm safe for now =)

That is good...

It is a tragedy the devastation we alcoholics cause in families and the world in general..we are private hurricanes to all that is good...and it often takes generations to clear the carnage..

Please know iamtwilight,,that you don't have to be definned by this storm,,,surround yourself with folks who look forward,,not back and keep a clear eye even when life is troubled...

You are a miracle...

Lenny

[iamtwilight]

(((Lenny))) thank you for your kind reply. i try so hard with all of me to focus on not letting this storm get to me. i have the most wonderful partner who never gets sick of convincing me there is light ahead. he is my gift from above (or wherever, as i do not yet particularly identify with any religion).

we are all miracles... no matter what.

thanks,
twilight

[Sannah]

Twilight, I am sorry that you have to live like this.....

[BlueFaith]

((( twilight ))) I grew up in a home with an alcoholic mother.... she's just recently in the past year become sober for the first time in many years. I am just now learning how to cope with what I dealt with growing up... and even after I was an adult. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. I've been there, and I know how it feels. Continue to keep yourself safe. I hope the situation improves soon. You're in my thoughts.

[MINIME]

Twilight. Im sorry can u find another home? get away from him.

[iamtwilight]

(((Sannah, MentalPollution, MINIME)))



it's ok now. thanks for your support. i am moving real soon, my partner and i found an apartment and the lady at the agency said we'll get the keys on the 6th!! =) very happy about that.

thanks so much,
twilight

[Blue93]

((((((((((twillight)))))))))
I'm glad you have a partner who cares a lot about you and an appartment too, in a few days! hopefully that will make life calm down a bit for you
life with people like that can be really draining to say the least..
Take care!

Blue

[Sannah]

Good!!!!!!

[chaotic13]

she threatened him w/ a divorce last nite. she's done it so many times before but she never just really does it and i wish she would.

This comment sent chills down my spine. Both my parents are gone now. My mother lived her life never doing anything...I had issues with that ... I've been struggling with my own marriage now, and I'm finding myself think about her a lot now.

[iamtwilight]

(((Blue & Sannah)))

i'm sure having some privacy will help at least a bit. should've done this ages ago, back in 2006 the school psychologist i was saying this home was tearing me apart - i did move in 2007.. running away from an alcohol problem - and guess what? the person i moved in with developed a drug problem. so i had to come back. alcohol is the lesser of the two evils.

again, thanks for your support. it really helps me be good to myself. you both take care of yourselves as well.


twilight

[iamtwilight]

(((chaotic)))

i'm sorry about your parents & that you're struggling with your marriage

i've realized that it is my mom's choice whether she will divorce him or not. what i say does not seem to matter - maybe.... deep down she loves him - or would feel responsible if he hurt himself - and doesn't want that. the whole village is trying to get dad to stop drinking - even our long-term family friends (who helped my parents when they moved here, over 20 years ago) refused to come to his birthday party because he is drinking.

he's as stubborn as they come. and apparently in a lot of pain, too, but is too ashamed to speak up, has to be all "manly". (he was born in 1943, and there is a huge gap of generations between us)

ahhh. there's a song quote that goes, it's impossible for two people to need the same thing. i hope it isn't true.

i hope you can be good to yourself (((chaotic))).


twilight

[Typo]

((((((((twilight)))))))))
I am so glad, that you are able to move away from this
I'm glad to hear you are safe
I'm sorry you are having to go through this
Always here if you want to talk hun
Lots of hugs
Silver

[iamtwilight]

(((Silversparrow)))

thanks i am quite positive things will only improve once i get out.

thanks for your support,
twilight

[chaotic13]

Getting out is definitely an important step. I got out and started a fresh new life somewhere else. Thought I was don't with all that--free. My only recommendation to others is...Just don't forget where you've been, otherwise you might inadvertently end up there again. I my case its a totally different problem but the resulting relationship dynamic feels very familiar. Only no its not my mother this time, its me. I think for us to truly break the cycle we have to remain alert and vigilant and in some cases help.