This.. is another attempt.. to put post... out here.. perhaps.. I am not "meant" to... am not sure....

so... I went to a new church.. to drop off.. donations... and have a chat with minister..

asked.. my age old question.. that haunts me... about forgiveness for pedophiles..

knew I shouldn't.. but did anyway...

seems.. the minister believes.. that pedophiles.. should indeed be forgiven... if contrite.. and... they indeed can change... and...would be welcomed into the congregation.. if.. they had indeed.. been "saved"...or "working" on "it"...

I kinda... got the idea.. that the pedohile.. working on his problem.. would be more welcome in the congregration.. than me... because.. the pedophile.. would have that "hat full" of sin .. to be redeemed.. and that would be a "WOW" moment for the minister.. if he could indeed save him....

well... my 12 year old alter... wants to slash.. her wrists... because she is in so much pain...

went to.. T... and to body work T.... and figured out.. that wow..the 3 men.. in my life... my dad.. my pedopile.. and my ex-husband... well.. never loved me... "used and abused"...

so...my "system" isn't dealing this well.... life.. doesn't look.. all that good right now....

doesn't "matter" what my outside looks like.. good.. bad... beautiful... ugly...
my insides.. it appears are unloveable..

am not sure.. how I am going to live thru.. this whol thing.. right now... it feels pretty hopeless... got's nothing to hold on to anymore.. no illusions....of being loved.. by anyone...

Why believe this loser? What the hell does he know about abuse and paedophiles anyway ..... would he feel the same if his daughter of grandaughter was abused??????????

I didn't read it Freewill because it had a trigger warning on it .... then I saw your post about screaming so I read it .....

and the above is my opinion ...... the stupid moron obviously doesn't know what he is talking about .... take no notice ...

it's about time people read FACTS about paedophiles.......

[MINIME]

Hang in there.

[bchlyn]

listening and caring... please stay safe... please tell your 12 year old that i care about her and would like her to please stay safe...lyn

[chaotic13]

(((freewill)))
I hear your pain. I truly believe that these predictors will get what they deserve in the end.

I've included a link below to a book that I read after 9-11. It just presents a perspective on the depth of God's grace that I had never appreciated before. And honestly, I still have trouble accepting most of the time.

What's So Amazing About Grace? by Phil Yancy

[chaotic13]

Freewill,
This post about forgiveness and what the minister said to really kind of stuck in my head last night. I couldn't help thinking about what forgiveness really means to me and if I could really offer it to a pedophile. It also caused me to question if the forgiveness the minister was talking about and the forgiveness that we can give are really the same.

I think that the concept of forgiveness that the church promotes is an ideal (forgive them for they know not what they do) and may not be actually achievable by everyone. NOR SHOULD IT BE EXPECTED of mere mortals.

I thought about this a lot last night. I think in my own personal case of abuse, I have been able to forgive my abusers. I don't think this is because I am some incredibly enlightened person. In my case the forgiveness was made a lot easier because the people who abused me were abused kids themselves and when I look at their lives now I see that they have reaped the full wrath of what did. I think also I was blessed to have others in my life who showed me that love and compassion although imperfect and inconsistent does exist in this world. My abuse is nothing compared to what you have endured.

If I was abused by adults (who in my opinion regardless of their upbring should be held accountable for their actions), or if my abusers had not paid a heavy societal price for their actions, or had not acknowledged or shown remorse,or it they continue to prey and abuse others, then NO WAY would I be ready to forgive them. In this case reason and logic are not enough for forgiveness. A belief in a Higher Power that is a lot deeper than what I currently have would be necessary.

Freewill despite what these individuals did to you, you are loved and you deserved (deserve) a lot better. I hope that minister realizes that it is not his place to tell anyone but himself if forgiveness should be given to someone. I'm praying today that the people around you show you how much you matter to them.

Thank you...giving this all the thought that you have.. shows what a caring, compassionate person that you are...

I was not going to put a post out.. like this on pedophiles because it triggers others... yet.. I was "triggered" myself.. and I needed support... very much.. and.. I guess I decided.. that I matter enough to.. put the post out here..
It was done.. in the spirit of my healing... not.. in the spirit of debate..

I would not feel comfortable.. with what I did last night... unless it was for help...

And.. you have helped.. and others have too... Thank you..

I have forgiven my mother, my father and my ex-husband.. because.. of their own horrific backgrounds.. their hurting me.. in part came from ignorance... from a day in age when there was no help.. no knowledge like there is in today's world.. We have the net... we have pdocs, Ts... MD's... self-help books, medications.. just resources that were not available to them..
It does not excuse them... however, I have reached a point of forgiving...

My pedophile.... I work at it.... in my "brain".... I say... and mean.. that if he is contrite.. and God.. as judge.. can see that in his heart - then.. it is not up to me.. I put my life in His hands...

The emotional "me"... sees my life in totality... and... it.. just is hard... because of my many problems.. that I have today.... not being able to have a meaningful relationship... the nightmares.. the anxiety... the eating disorder... all of the problems....

and.. I guess... my continual fight to not give up... going day after day... fighting the fight to stay on this earth...

when I look.. at this.. it is hard...

In the end... I go with my brain... because it reflects "who".. I am... really and truely...