[bethannaTN]

Why is it that when I feel afraid or stressed I go back to a previous abuse and relive it? Then start trying to resolve THAT abuse instead of focusing on what I need to focus on here in the present? Does anyone else do this? If so, have you found a way to stay in the present?

Thanks,
Beth

[Malady156]

Maybe because you are seeing the same pattern in the present stress as in the past abuse you revisit. Have you dealt with your past abuse in therapy? Working through that will help you be able to still stay in the present when you detect the patterns that remind you of the past. You will know what to do with those patterns and how to respond to protect yourself. You are probably going back in time because you don't know how to protect yourself and the past abuse is where that problem started.

[bethannaTN]

Thanks, Malady, I started therapy again last Monday to deal with this issue from my past. It's long over due, I think. I can see what you are speaking about my present presenting the same patterns. There is a lot of abandonment involved in my current relationship. . . and its very tough to deal with. The issue that I always fly back to has to do with abandonment as well. Hmmm. . . thank you for your insite!

Beth

[Butterfly_Faerie]

I had to deal with this just recently. I posted on here a post called I have a choice, and this goes kinda along with what you are feeling.

For 8 years I was stuck in the past, think always of the stuff that happened to me, the ex, the threats, the assaults, the rape, the abuse.

I was always having nightmares and daydreams. The daydreams came everyday all day and it was terrible, I could feel myself tense up and I become afraid.

I would constantly get triggers and flashbacks in the form of body memories, still do but it's not as bad and I am able to live with it.

You know what the turning point for me was to become unstuck and it literally set me free from the past feeling guilt, shame, fear, etc... Telling myself that I regret that it happened, I wasn't my fault and by saying that and believing it turned my whole life around, set me free from it to the point where I was no longer plauged with PTSD symptoms that were keeping me stuck.

I hope that helps, I've been free for about 5 or 6 months now, to the point where I'm not living with the past, I am dealing with it, putting it behind me but it took me a long time to do it.

I still have body memories, still have triggers, but I deal with them instead of brushing them aside trying to forget, doing that doesn't make you forgot about it, it just continues to haunt you. Still got to deal with triggers, but it is easier now.

If you can't find my post on that I'll bump it for you.

Hope that helps.

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Here's the post I was reffering too, tried to find it but I can't , so many I didn't post it?

Here is the link.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showf...&vc=#Post90233