disturbing phone call

i talked to my mother for the first time in 14 years last night. it went from being cordial to screaming in about 7 minutes. this was not the way i had envisioned, i dont know what is wrong with her. she won't let me talk, she cuts me off and starts screaming about things that happened so long ago. it is so hard to have a conversation with her. i started telling her about how i'm doing and she cuts me off and starts telling how she hates her family and why do i talk to them? well its kind of nice talking to people who listen, who dont interupt me constantly, let me express my feelings, say things that are uplifting, and ask me how my day is. why is that so hard for her to understand. it felt like being dropped into a world of total craziness, feeling like i cant breath and bringing so many bad memories back. i thought after 14 years maybe she would want to know how i am doing, talk and laugh a little. i am so confused, i dont know what is wrong with her, i wish she would go see a psychiatrist, she needs medication, its not normal to hate everyone and carry grudges for 20 and 30 years, or is it? she doesnt want me to talk to any of her family, thats one of the reasons why we quit talking in the first place. i wish she would find some peace, or some medication. i feel like i can't even think straight, she made me so upset.
then she was talking about something that my grandfather told me when i was 9 and he told me not to tell her, she takes everything so seriously. that was 30 years ago!! i can barely remember what happened yesterday, lol. god grant me, and my family, and my mother some peace, we sure need it. i wish she could let some of her hostility go, i dont know how to help her, i guess i cant.

(((((((((((( cuddlgrl ))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry your conversation went so poorly. It certainly sounds like you had good reasons to not have contact with her for 14 years. It's so normal to want to try again since she is your mom and our hearts always want to be close to our moms, its a natural feeling to have.

Sometimes we need reminders as to why we don't have a relationship with certain people. Maybe this was your reminder. Whatever you mom's illness is, I think you are right that there isn't much you can do to help her.

Probably the best you can do is to put your energy into yourself to make you the best person you can be. Sometimes certain relationships are toxic and cannot be repaired just because we love someone and want to have a good, healthy relationship with them.....and it's so sad when that doesn't work

You certainly cannot control what your mom thinks or how she feels. You can control you! If you know in your heart that you have done the best you could do by contacting your mom and trying to have a relationship.....then you can go on with your life with the knowledge that you tried.....and your intent was good.

You and your mom and your family are in my prayers. First and foremost, please take good care of YOU.


sabby

((((((((((((cuddlgrl))))))))))))))

Sorry to hear that your conversation went so badly. It's hard when someone we want to love us is hostile towards us.

Just wanted you to know I was listening.

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_sabby_ said:
(((((((((((( cuddlgrl ))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry your conversation went so poorly. It certainly sounds like you had good reasons to not have contact with her for 14 years. It's so normal to want to try again since she is your mom and our hearts always want to be close to our moms, its a natural feeling to have.

Sometimes we need reminders as to why we don't have a relationship with certain people. Maybe this was your reminder. Whatever you mom's illness is, I think you are right that there isn't much you can do to help her.

Probably the best you can do is to put your energy into yourself to make you the best person you can be. Sometimes certain relationships are toxic and cannot be repaired just because we love someone and want to have a good, healthy relationship with them.....and it's so sad when that doesn't work

You certainly cannot control what your mom thinks or how she feels. You can control you! If you know in your heart that you have done the best you could do by contacting your mom and trying to have a relationship.....then you can go on with your life with the knowledge that you tried.....and your intent was good.

You and your mom and your family are in my prayers. First and foremost, please take good care of YOU.


sabby

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(((((((((((((((((cuddlegrl))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I want you to know i care. I havent spoken to my mother for nearly a year, it was brave of you to contact her, i daren'tnow for fear of rejection.... please take care of you, bless you for being so forgiving and wishing peace for your mother .....

you're a better person than i ...... love, Jinnyann xoxoxoxoxoxo