[RozG]

how survivors always feel like it their fault? whatever they age, whatever the circumstance? yep for sure

[Scott902]

I had always thought that the abuse from Mom was my fault. Cause I was the only boy, and more like Dad.

[pachyderm]

I'm laughing...






I really now accept what I have read about it, that for a child it is safer to believe that it is their fault (because maybe then they can control it) than to feel that it is totally out of their control. Think how horribly frightening that is!

[bebop]

yeah I know how you feel roz.

mike I had that same feeling with my mom. I was the only girl and was treated like crap all my life from her.

[Fuzzybear]

[multipixie9]

If it is so funny, why am I not laughing??????

Nothing funny about it and nothing funny about being abused and having parents who can't be trusted and who neglect or abuse.

I have no sense of humor where abuse is concerned - other places in life I do have a sense of humor, but not where this is and it hurts.

[chaotic13]

It is ironic.

I know, for what ever reason, I view myself as being at fault or to blame so much more so than I do my abusers. Intellectually it a concept that is stupid, but emotionally it is hard to truly get rid of.

[RozG]

Originally Posted by Mike902

I had always thought that the abuse from Mom was my fault. Cause I was the only boy, and more like Dad.

((Mike)) sorry you felt that way, hope you know different now?

[RozG]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

I'm laughing...

I really now accept what I have read about it, that for a child it is safer to believe that it is their fault (because maybe then they can control it) than to feel that it is totally out of their control. Think how horribly frightening that is!

((((((((Pachyderm)))))))) i agree but have never consciously thought about it before.

Ty for replying ..and i really hope no-one thought i was being sarcastic, i'm just trying to figure my own attitude and discussion with others helps.

Peace & love to you,
roz
xx

[RozG]

Originally Posted by bebop

yeah I know how you feel roz.

mike I had that same feeling with my mom. I was the only girl and was treated like crap all my life from her.

((((bebop)))) sorry to hear your mom treated you like this.

[RozG]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

((((((((fuzzy))))))))

[RozG]

Originally Posted by multipixie9

If it is so funny, why am I not laughing??????

Nothing funny about it and nothing funny about being abused and having parents who can't be trusted and who neglect or abuse.

I have no sense of humor where abuse is concerned - other places in life I do have a sense of humor, but not where this is and it hurts.

((((((leslie and the pixies))))))))

i genuinely didn't mean this post in humor, i was hurting bad and just didn't know how else to word it...plus i do genuinely feel it is slighty ironic the way most of us blame ourselves for hurt and abuse we took as kids ya know?

genuine apologies if you took this post the wrong way or if it hurt you in any way.

[RozG]

Originally Posted by chaotic13

It is ironic.

I know, for what ever reason, I view myself as being at fault or to blame so much more so than I do my abusers. Intellectually it a concept that is stupid, but emotionally it is hard to truly get rid of.

((((chaotic)))) this is the point i was trying to make...we blame ourselves when we shouldn't ... and yes it is ironic...but understandable i think?

[xylia]

I always blamed myself for everything that I experienced, be it a misconception or not. I think to myself now "If only I could do something right for a change, this wouldn't have happened". I guess in some way I blame my parents too, but really when I said to them "You've ruined my life" I felt it was my fault. I was just expressing my own unhappiness.

Sorry for babling, but yeah, it is kind of ironic, isn't it?

[RozG]

Originally Posted by xylia

I always blamed myself for everything that I experienced, be it a misconception or not. I think to myself now "If only I could do something right for a change, this wouldn't have happened". I guess in some way I blame my parents too, but really when I said to them "You've ruined my life" I felt it was my fault. I was just expressing my own unhappiness.

Sorry for babling, but yeah, it is kind of ironic, isn't it?

((((((((xylia)))))))) yes, i get that and personally think the blame should lay with the parents and not us..we were kids...they were adults..maybe i wrong???

[xylia]

No I don't think you're wrong. I think you're right. But saying it is one thing and doing it is so much harder.

[reddevil]

Roz, I think what you are saying makes sense.

It's not a childs fault if their parent loses control, but it's so easy to feel like it is, and it's so easy for the parent to make then feel that way.