[Typo]

Shaking as I write this, sick to stomache, please don't hate me.

I have seen horrible things, my eyes hurt, they have witnessed so much, I have seen abuse, it is disgusting to see human hurt another human like that. How can someone do such harm to someone else?

I have memory, bad one, haven't told T yet, don't ever talk about it,

I have seen physical abuse, was staying the night at my best friends house, her mom and dad where getting a divorce, her husband was physcially abusive, she didn't want my friend around that, wanted safe home for friend and her. Had restraing order against husband, Friend and mom are like family to me, so her mom is like my mom, friend is like sister. Friend's mom got the divorce papers in, hadn't heard from husband in days, last time she did he was far away. So friend's mom felt safe to ask me over to spend the night, my parents where okay with it, they knew the stiuation. We had big dinner to celebrate, had fun, played board games, went to bed.

At two in the morning sounds of breaking glass, screaming, friend bolts out of bed to go defend mom, Friends mom screams for me to call police, friends dad is drunk, screams at me if I call the police he will ****ing kill her, hit, scream, yell, he tries to talk me downstairs, says I desereve what there getting for being family to them. I get phone, call 911, hide in closet, so much screaming, so much hitting, so much name calling. Operater tells me to stay on phone, I peek out from top of stairs, pleading, begging for him to stop, he tells me to shut my mouth or he will come get me, throws a shoe at me. Please stop, Please stop, I cry, makes way towards stairs, I scamper back into friends room and hide in closet, can here him coming, one step, two step, three step, glass breaks, I here friends mom screaming at him, he goes back starts on her again, my friend screams, so much screaming.

Police finally arrive, force him to ground, handcuffs. Blood and glass all over living room. Cops check everyone, friends dad is sitting in chair, looks at me, "Dirty little *****, called the cops on me did you? I will make you pay." Spits at me, gets up to slam me down, Cop forces him down into chair, then takes him to the cop car, I make glasses of water for everyone. Pacing kitchen, numbing out, going blank, floating above it all. I fill out witness report, cop leaves.

Wake up, have to tell parents, don't want to keep it a secret, friends mom really upset, keeps apologizing, saying sorry sorry, shouldn't have happend, starts crying. I tell her not her fault, not anyones fault, she didn't know noone knew it was going to happen.
She calls my mom, mom nice to her face. Tells me it's okay. Comes and gets me. In car on ride home, mom starts saying bad things about friends mom, I get mad, yell at her, not friends fault, you let me go. Mom slaps me, "Don't ever talk to me like that again you *****." I am the parent I make decisions, you child you listen, I'm right,you stupid and wrong."

Friends dad drove by my house a few times, I guess he was looking for a chance to pay me back, never did get the chance, my dad was always home.

I feel bad, so sick about writing this. Not supposed to...not supposed to...
Sorry Sorry, Sorry, don't hate me dont' hate me dont hate me sorry....

[iamtwilight]

(((silversparrow))) - that is absolutely horrible! but one thing i know for sure: you did the right thing and you are VERY brave!!! no doubt about that. try to not let what everybody says get you down, it's not true! in my eyes what you did was very admirable. domestic violence (and any type of abuse) should be stopped in the first place, always. nobody deserves that. sometimes it's difficult for others to understand. many many safe hugs to you and your friends.

[iamtwilight]

also i want to add... that the way you handled the situation at your friend's house... wow, just wow... that is a sign of great emotional strength i tell you.

[Typo]

Thank you Kaite, I don't know how I did it back then, It happend when lots of stuff was going on, it happend the week after my dad got out of jail, I was 14...felt like i was 60, my mom was emotionally abusive druing this time too, it's bad, such bad time, things better now for friend and her mom, her dad finally got sober, had relaspes but they have a healthy realtionship now, her mom remarried, this memory still haunts me...all da hurtful words...so much..feels like its crushing me....afarid everone here wold hate me after shared ths...dont hate me...

[reddevil]

We don't hate you.

You did not deserve to witness that, nor to have your mum say that to you afterwards.

I'm sorry this is hurting you so much. You handled the situation in the right way, and your mum was wrong and stupid, not you.

[Sannah]

Silver, why would you think that we would hate you for sharing this?

[MINIME]

(silver) thanks for sharing,I know its scary but it the best thing to do is to let them out. It will get easier and u dont have to say sorry.

[Typo]

Not sure why afraid, everyone would hate me, scared everyone would react like my mom, and say hurtful things, call me da b word and call me stupid, stupid stupid silver..stupid. So much pain...stupid silver stupid.

[pachyderm]

Not stupid, silver, not. Silver nice, silver brave.

[Sannah]

Silver, I am so sorry that your mother tried to silence you this way. You can talk here and you can talk in therapy until you get it all out.......

[reddevil]

Silver is good person.

Silver does not deserve to be called names by a grown woman.

[Blue93]

I agree
You didn't deserve all that, you were the kid, they were the adults

Blue

((((( Silver )))))

[multipixie9]

SilverSparrow,

I respect you. It was brave to defy the man and call 911. You did right and so many older did wrong. I am so sorry your mom let you down so bad. You needed her comfort and concern and got hurt in words and hands. Life is weird when children act wiser than adults, it's wrong.

I was someplace one night with my brother over to his friends house. The estranged dad called and began making threats. My next memory is my brother telling the parents the abuser was threatening to kill us. My brother said, "Man if he showed up I would have bolted and Leslie could look out for herself." I missed the violence...that nite, but my brother's words did something inside me.

In wartimes soldiers get medals for bravery. I would give you one for that night - bravery in the face of enemy fire. and no I'm not kidding or making fun of you. i mean it.

leslie

[Malachite]

Dear SilverSparrow

Thank you, for sharing your dramatic experience. Your conduct, was most admirable. I hope, your sharing brought you some peace.

May your future be tranquil,

Larry