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#1
Jan 11, 2005, 06:26 AM
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This past weekend I saw my rapist. It brought back so many memories about my past. I got so sick to my stomach. All I wanted to do was grab my dad's hunting rifle and blow his brains out! I want him to hurt as bad as he hurt me. I'm scared to death of him, as he still watches me when he sees me. I'm glad I don't see him often.
I'm sitting here holding myself, as if it would prevent him from raping me again. I was only 4 when he and his friend raped me. I rarely talk about him at all. I think maybe I should. He's still that predator he once was. I beilieve that in my heart to be true. I could crawl into a hole and just stay there if that meant he could never touch me again. I know that's not possible. I think if given the chance, he'd rape me again. That's my worst fear. Would anyone come to protect me if it happened again? I don't have an answer for that because I really don't know. There are times, like right now, where I can almost feel them rubbing themselves up against me...the body remembers...
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"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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#2
Jan 11, 2005, 10:30 AM
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((((((((((((((((( lexicon )))))))))))))))))))))
kd
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#3
Jan 11, 2005, 11:11 AM
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((((((((((((((((Lexicon))))))))))))))))
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That's why it's such a serious thing to ask a Centaur to stay for the weekend. A very serious thing indeed. - The Silver Chair |
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#4
Jan 11, 2005, 11:39 AM
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{{{{{{Lex}}}}}}} do you have a victim abuse program where you live would that help you to get over this period , I have a great way of punishing animals like that but I promised my hubby I would never complete these thoughts, when you feel stronger I'll tell you what I would do to them
Angie
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 A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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#5
Jan 13, 2005, 02:47 AM
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(((((((((Lexicon)))))))))))
So sorry hon that you are going thru this. I was 10 when it happened to me by my brother and his 3 friends. And I am still scared of the 2 that are living yet. So your not alone in how you are feeling about this idiot. I am thinking of you hon, take care. Wishing you peace ~ Hugz Tryin
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