[MacD]

What will it take to get to the point where i'm no longer being manipulated? and more importantly, will i make it to that point? or is he going to wear me down emotionally/physically before i can get my second wind...i know everyone said that it would get worse before it got better, but Oh My God....he's still playing the same mindgames....trying to control me...that were going on when we lived together...though it's true that the danger of being physically hurt is gone...it has been replaced by intense stress for me, for my other family members. ..I never thought he could continue to have this negative an effect on my life....today is not a day when i feel strong..

[vacantangel]

Hi McDonald. I'm sorry that you are still being manipulated and feel unsafe. I know your situation well. I was emotionally abused but not physically abused. After he left, the abuse continued for both me and my son. It's like he had total control over us, even though he no longer lived with us. This went on for *many* years and finally, I decided that enough was enough and both my son and I went for therapy, which really helped us. Maybe therapy could help you too? It might help you to discover why you continue to allow it, even if it is subconsciously, and how to stop it. I wish you the very best of luck, it's not an easy situation to be in. Hugs sweetie and take care. Please get yourself in a safe environment where he can't physically hurt you anymore. Bruises may heal, but emotional abuse can stay there a lifetime, please get yourself some help for that.

[Cassandra]

I don't know what he's specifically doing, but at least you have the physical distance from him to be able to say "no, that's not how it's going to be" without having teh wheels in your head spin about " is it safe?" "what will happen if..?" It's YOUR turn to set boundaries for yourself and your children. It's your power in your control, now. You can hang up the phone. You can shut off IMs and block email. You don't have to...anything. I know it's hard to feel strong or confident or even RIGHT sometimes for me, after so much "psychic deconstruction", does that make sense? Be well, good luck and bless you. You can talk to me any time you want.