[BamaSurvivor]

I was in another part of the site and an issue came up and I figured it'd be best to put the whole thing in this section rather than that section.

When I was growing up, for many years, I was raped almost everynight by my cousin. I've gotten past some of it, but other parts I haven't, and I think a lot of the reason I can't fully move forward is because I'm still literally LIVING in the past of it all. I still live at home because I don't have the money to move out on my own, and I still have the same bedroom I had all those years of abuse. I still have flashbacks and nightmares and still can't sleep in this room without some sort of light being on because it's scary. I've talked to my parents about this, how this room has too many bad memories and it triggers a lot of my cutting sessions and depression. We have an extra room at this house in the front of it, but they won't let me move to that room because they said it'd run up the power bill. That in itself hurts me deeply... It just seems they think the power bill going up a little is more important than my well-being and happiness. Am I wrong in this, or are they? What do I say to them?

[kimmydawn]

bamasurvivor, i'm so sorry for your parents not understanding. some ppl just aren't capable of realizing that a change in surroundings CAN make all the difference.

i would definitely get some backup on this with t if i could.

i wish alot for you right now...and sending safe wishes.

please let us know,

kd

(((((((((BamaSurvivor))))))))) I'm very sorry that you in that room. Maybe all over the walls you can put pictures of happy memories until something else is worked out. I had to move home a year or so ago and it was different. Its when my bulimia got worse. What i realized thought is that it had more for me to do with being in my family dynamics again.

Please surround yourself with loving people who care about you . You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[BamaSurvivor]

Yes, I'm going to talk to my therapist about setting up a meeting with all of us in there to discuss the issue. My rehab sponser suggested the same thing tonight while I was talking about it. I hope so very much that by having my therapist there, as a professional point of view, will help my parents realize the importance of this.

As far as changing the room goes, I've tried that. I've pained it to a light blue color hoping it'd give it a 'happier' vibe, I have posters on my walls, I even have a different bed. But it still doesn't change the room. *sigh* I can still look around in my room and remember exact locations where he touched me or took advantage of me. I really have tried getting used to this room, because I don't want to be a financial burden on my parents. I just can't...

[BamaSurvivor]

I promised an update, so here I am. The guy over my SSI/disability case called yesterday and said I had been approved and I'll receive my first check (which includes backtime) March the 1st or 3rd. My mom and dad agreed to let me move out into the front room since my check is coming in and I can pay a little on the power bill. So yay! I will soon be free from this tormented room! *jumps*

[MacD]

Way to go!!!That's wonderful News!