HELP! How to deal with a dysfunctional family

I'm currently living in a house with (believe it or not) my Father and his Grandparents. All of them are extremely dysfunctional. They yell at each other, call each other bad names and have a complete lack of respect for one another. I have a really bad relationship with my Father. He had a drug problem while I was growing up and now I believe he's converted his drug problem to a prescription drug problem. He's illogical, irrational, paranoid and verbally abusive towards me. My question is how does one deal with this type of situation if one has to live with these types of individuals and not come out completely scarred and be able to maintain healthy relationships in my life?

The fact that you grew up around this dysfunction but you know better says a lot about who you are!

You don't say how old you are or if you are in school. If you are attending school, go to the school's counseling services and talk to someone. Or a teacher you feel you can trust. Find some responsible adult to talk to about this.

If you are old enough go seek out professional help yourself. Find your local community mental health clinic, look in the phone book, call the village/city services and ask where it is. You should be able to find a mental health clinic that offers services on a sliding scale. You may even qualify for free therapy. Go find help for yourself.

Chances are good all the adults you live with won't want any part of it and will be angry that you do this. But they are sick people and are not concerned with what is best for YOU. Go get the help you need. Good luck.

Hi William,
Pomegranate gave some great advice. If you're old enough maybe it would be better to live on your own. You need to tell someone and get help. Best of luck.

With a family like that, whether you live with them or not, you have to learn everything you can about setting boundaries for yourself. Remember that we can only change ourselves, not other people, but you can set limits on what you will and won't tolerate and expect in your interactions with them.

Thanks Rapunzel! What do you mean by "setting boundaries for myself"? A little more on that please.....

Where to start with setting boundaries.

Don't take responsibility for their feelings, choices, etc. that is outside of your control. Do be responsible for your own stuff. Set limits and tell them when they cross a line. There are some really good books about boundaries. I have the ones by Anne Katherine, and have learned a lot from them: http://www.amazon.com/Where-Draw-Lin...9002471&sr=1-9

I agree with everyone's comments, you really are ahead of the game because you recognize the dysfunction, the next step is to get out of there! I'm not sure how old you are or what but you have to write down for yourself what you will put up with and what you won't put up with in YOUR LIFE and stick to that as best you can!

I personally come from a very dysfunctional family, very! There are things that I refuse to put up with that they do. For example, my mother has a tendency to try to publicly and privately humiliate me, for the longest time I did not visit her because of this. I would call occasionally, but would not go into the house because I just couldn't handle it because it would tend to send me further into a deep depression. She's currently in the hospital and my dd and I went to visit and she was okay, but there were subtle things going on that made me uncomfortable and has made it difficult for me to return. The bottom line is that you have to take care of yourself FIRST. I will not lie to you that the dysfunction has not scarred me because it has, but I try every day to be a better person. My family, however, resents that and feels like I think I am better... I cannot help what they believe, as I have told them over and over again, it is not that I think that I am better, I simply think that we ALL CAN AND SHOULD BE BETTER!

TJ