Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Apr 27, 2009, 09:38 AM
william1971 william1971 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: Miami
Posts: 53
I've always been surrounded by the type of family environment that has been emotionally disconnected. None of my family members including myself were taught or knew how to express our feelings; at least in a healthy way. These days, I'm an adult and currently reside with some of the same family members that may have indeed instigated the unhealthy behaviours if not made things worse.

Make a long story short, I don't trust my own family members with anything; my emotions/feelings, my belongings, my life. It's gotten so bad that I've had to put a lock on my bedroom door just to have some privacy and to keep these family members from snooping. My question is, with my trust broken by my own family members how can I rebuild trust and build healthy relaltionships in my own life?

advertisement
  #2  
Old Apr 27, 2009, 08:21 PM
Miri's Avatar
Miri Miri is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 223
William, my family is like that too. i divorced them. you seem to be stuck with them at the moment and personally, I think that putting a lock on your door is healthy. It means you know inside yourself that you are worthy of protecting yourself, that you trust your instincts. good for you! As far as developing trust outside of your family, no it isn't easy but you can. Growth is always built upon prior successes - in anything - so start small. It's never good to meet someone and automatically place absolute trust in that person. Take your time, listen to your spidey senses and only offer more of yourself as it feels safe to do so. You will make mistakes and get hurt, as we are human, so we make mistakes. Don't get mad at yourself! You will learn, just as you have learned how to be safe under the same roof with people you realize are not trustworthy. You are doing it! You posted here and that's a start. Now you can think about what i've said and judge for yourself if it fits for you. If it sounds like rubbish, let it go and ask yourself what didn't fit. Even that may give you a clue to what fits for you.
I hope this is helpful. If nothing else, know that there is someone who thinks you are moving in the right direction and i support how you are taking care of yourself!
__________________
Miri

I have no armour; I make benevolence and righteousness my armour.
Samurai, anon
Thanks for this!
Sannah, shezbut
  #3  
Old Apr 28, 2009, 10:56 AM
Pomegranate's Avatar
Pomegranate Pomegranate is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,611
Take it slow. Baby steps. You'll make mistakes, that's okay. Maybe read some self help books on trust and relationships?
__________________

I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture
than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you."
Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure.
Can't stop you from praying and blessing me,
and if that makes you feel better feel free.
But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me.
And let's all respect each other's feelings.
With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings."
Thanks for this!
shezbut
  #4  
Old Apr 28, 2009, 12:20 PM
Sannah's Avatar
Sannah Sannah is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
The first step is getting out there and trying??????? And like Miri said you figured out what you need to do with your family so you do have an idea what you are doing. Good post Miri!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
shezbut
  #5  
Old Apr 28, 2009, 01:41 PM
william1971 william1971 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: Miami
Posts: 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miri View Post
William, my family is like that too. i divorced them. you seem to be stuck with them at the moment and personally, I think that putting a lock on your door is healthy. It means you know inside yourself that you are worthy of protecting yourself, that you trust your instincts. good for you! As far as developing trust outside of your family, no it isn't easy but you can. Growth is always built upon prior successes - in anything - so start small. It's never good to meet someone and automatically place absolute trust in that person. Take your time, listen to your spidey senses and only offer more of yourself as it feels safe to do so. You will make mistakes and get hurt, as we are human, so we make mistakes. Don't get mad at yourself! You will learn, just as you have learned how to be safe under the same roof with people you realize are not trustworthy. You are doing it! You posted here and that's a start. Now you can think about what i've said and judge for yourself if it fits for you. If it sounds like rubbish, let it go and ask yourself what didn't fit. Even that may give you a clue to what fits for you.
I hope this is helpful. If nothing else, know that there is someone who thinks you are moving in the right direction and i support how you are taking care of yourself!

Wow!! Thank you very much Miri for your support! Just what I need. Sounds like we come from similar situations. That's great advice btw. I'll definitely have to practice some it. Thanks again Miri, you rock!

William
  #6  
Old Apr 28, 2009, 05:28 PM
Miri's Avatar
Miri Miri is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 223
Very, very glad if my words helped. Kepp in touch.
__________________
Miri

I have no armour; I make benevolence and righteousness my armour.
Samurai, anon
Reply
Views: 422

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:19 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.