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#1
Dec 17, 2014, 07:18 PM
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Hi. I have 2 days sober today. I have gone to my AA meetings and got a sponsor. I have been at this a few years now. I am sick and tired of Alcohol and Drugs controlling me and the consequences that I reap from abusing them. Most of all,I have lost my self respect. I already know I lost the respect of my husband and family. I know this will take time to regain. I heard now at 2 different meeting I attended about "Living Amends". I think that is how I will make a difference with my husband and family. I have said all the words already, and they mean nothing when my actions say differently. But I am redy to do this thing for me now. I have been around the rooms for about 12 years now. But we get it when we get. Anyway, just thought I would share. I meet with my sponsor tomorrow.
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 Little Lulu
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#2
Dec 17, 2014, 09:23 PM
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Kristen welcome to Psych central! Congrats on 2 days sober!
 Lots of forums to check out http://forums.psychcentral.com and articles http://forums.psychcentral.com Hope you meet nice people as I have.
__________________
Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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#3
Dec 17, 2014, 11:55 PM
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Welcome, Kristen. Living amends are a big start...that means amends to family & friends but, perhaps more importantly, making amends to yourself. I'm glad you're giving sobriety a chance again. I know I didn't get it the first time around & I still have to take things one day at a time. If I don't look into the future & just do what I have to do to stay sober today that's a big start. Your two days are huge. Welcome to the boards!
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#4
Dec 18, 2014, 02:33 PM
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Good for you. Don't give up ever. When I first joined I new a guy who would relapse hard every damn year. He would come crawling back to the rooms older and more beat up every time. I think this went on for ten years because it was happening before I got there. To be honest I thought he was hopeless and would never get it. I can't explain why he relapsed because I always saw him working very hard at it. Today he has 15 years sober and is a leader in AA. His life is great. Next time I go back to CA I am going to ask him if he understands why he kept relapsing. It wasn't because he quit going to meetings. He would quit going after he relapsed but not before. They taught me in treatment that relapse is a process. It doesn't just happen one day. Understanding why and doing a fourth and fifth step on it is crucial. Of course AA says resentment is the number one offender and I have heard lots of people say it was true for them when relapsing. Nursing a resentment.
Living ammends is a great thing. So many hollow promises and apologies I made. Trust doesn't happen over night. It has to slowly be rebuilt. Lots of ways to make ammends that don't involve even talking to someone. Remember first do no harm. if making an ammends helps you but hurts someone else than it is not the right way to do it.
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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
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