growing up???????

hi
I just had the most enlightening but also the most vulnerable counseling session ever.........
It's hard to describe. Basically I told my counselor about the whole struggle inside me between growing up and remaining a child. I can't do it anymore. I told her about how my internal littles take charge and keep me in a childlike mindset. I talked about how hard and painful it is for me to grow up......I just don't know what to do or how to do it. I'm tired of faking being an adult. I'm not. I may look like it, but really I'm only a child in an adult's body. Doesn't anyone understand this??????????? Am I alone in this and going crazy?? I just can't force myself to grow up anymore. I can't stand this. Can anyone else relate??
Toesquasher

We can relate!! and you are not the only one going through this!
The only way we've learned to cope with this as we havent' came out and told anyone about this in real life.
But we tell people yes, i'm immature, and need to grow up, but this is who I am. why wont you accept me for who I am? and they tend to get mad at first, but then eventually they stop harrasssing us over growing up and acting our age, and things.
It's okay to be you, because you is who you really are!
((((((Toesquasher))))))

:-)

thanks for the reply and the understanding
Toesquasher

It is human.

Lots of *regular* people out there have trouble with it to, don't want to, etc.

Try to relax some, rest

I relate to this so much!

(((((((( Toesquasher )))))))
it's ok to be who you are (if people are judging and harassing you, tell them to ... "go away" )

Yes, I feel like a fraud as an adult. I still feel like a kid who doesn't know how to take care of herself.

I do too

Get up... put on act... head out into the "real" world... try to sound grown up (often does not work)... often patronized (not sure that's the right word)... neat thing is I often ask "What is wrong with everybody? Why are they all in a pretend world, hiding from each other?" In a way most people are doing the same thing, hiding their own realities. This disorders' act, however, is an anomaly... most peoples' acts are similar to each others' and they understand them... I'm pretty much settled into being misunderstood... I don't understand how any one else thinks either... took a long time to make peace with apathy, though.🎭.

I am pretty old, though... well-seasoned... it used to be very difficult.

I definitely relate to this!

I spent sessions in therapy recently curled into a ball and snuggled under and blanket and wearing a diaper. My therapist welcomed it. It was scary but it felt good to show this side of me... I need to do it more so I can explore it. The idea was that I would learn to parent and grow the little part of me and over time I could reach a more mature age.

My 3 year old wants to lay in bed all day and cuddle pillows and blankets and be safe and protected. My 28 year old parts want to go out and have a life and be mature. Mostly my 3 year old runs the show but the real problem is the bouncing back and forth. It's like I got two different people in me with two different needs, wants and desires and they conflict so badly that sometimes I don't know what to do! It's terrible.