I agree with my Pdoc but I feel 'cheated'

I saw my Pdoc today, she had done her homework on what meds I might be able to tolerate and the list was pretty short. Top and bottom of the list is Lithium, we talked this through and we both agreed that it isn't the right choice for me right now. The plan of action is that I stay on Agomelatine, which isn't causing me any problems and is really good at regulating my sleep, my appetite and energy levels but it isn't lifting my mood as much as I would like. I'm going to start Cognitive Analytical Therapy in the New Year, hopefully that will work on my mood. Until then I have plenty of support from a community psych nurse. So why do I feel a bit cheated?

I've had so many different problems with meds in the past couple of years that I was fearful of changing yet again and none of the meds I've tried have been a magic bullet so I'd no real expectation that I'd be cured by meds.

I've never been a huge fan of therapy, especially if it involves digging around in the murky recesses of my childhood. However, CAT isn't that kind of therapy and by reading through the material I've been given I can see how the examples relate to my behaviour and things I know I need to work on. Despite my general reservations about therapy I do believe this will be good for me.

My Pdoc has very much left the door open for me to go back and talk about trying Lithium any time I want. Part of me knows I've struck Pdoc gold, she listens, she doesn't push meds, she lets me make the choices and respects my opinion, most importantly I can change my mind if I want to. So why on earth do I have this vague antipathy that I know is completely unreasonable?