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New Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: hollywood,fl,
Posts: 3
7 1 hugs
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#1
eating,breathing,sexing all feel like requirements of my biological body I feel no relief enjoyment satisfaction fulfillment in anything I do,i do everything but it just feels like a blan forced necessity of need,taking showers cleaning house,conversations with others just existing is totally undesirable,i don't have any form of satisfying peaceful sleep,sure I sleep, I eat, I have sex, I breathe, but all of it is done with a labor of unwillingness, mixed with dread that doing those things, only leads to more knowing I will have to do those things again, and that everything I do does nothing to help my depression,11 years of torment with this cancerous disease and i go to deeper and deeper levels of insanity thinking that might give some escape to the consequences of reality,i just seems that reality doesn't understand how much I want the suffering to end,death or insanity anything is better than the reality I have
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Festivus61, Fizzyo, MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
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#2
I'm so sorry you're going through all of this suffering. You don't deserve it. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 3,282
9 3,980 hugs
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#3
Hi muchluv,
Sorry to hear how hard it is for you to function. I can relate very much with what you say. I find when things get really bad I "shut down" so the world goes grey and fuzzy and I feel numb and empty. I agree it is a respite from the pain, but then that gets too much and I want to feel again. I think sometimes we do these things to survive. I really hope you get some of the support and understanding you need. PC can be a very good place to start. *MEGAHUGS* We're here for each other. __________________ We're people first, anything else is secondary. |
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