So sick of justifying!

Constantly....."watch what you spend your money on" from my mom, dad, sister etc... All the time we pull a double shift. Go to work or school then come home and cook/clean or take care of kids. But then, when we want to spend money on ourselves we get the "typical woman" stereotype thrown at us like we're fiscally irresponsible! I, nor should any other woman, have to justify wanting to buy new clothes or get their hair done. We do so much for everyone else that we deserve to get pampered every now and then. And I'm so sick of not being able to do anything for myself without hearing that I'm spending MY money in the wrong places. While my parents can go out and buy ridiculous things all the time, I have to sit back and never treat myself to anything?! Screw that.

Sorry for the rant.

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

I am so glad that I am independent of my parents (even though I love them)

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

That's the thing. I moved out before I graduated high school and haven't relied on them in several years. I would think that them watching me work 2 jobs to put myself through school would show them that I'm responsible and I know they just want to look out for me but obviously, if I have been doing this on my own for 5 years I'm not going to any time soon. I just don't get why it's so horrible of a thing to want to treat yourself every now and then.

You can do what you want with your money regardless of what they say or think. Personally, I just wouldn't tell them when I was spending money as it is none of their business at all.

I'm sorry they aren't treating you how you deserve.

I completely agree with Perpetuallysad. If you're living on your own and working 2 jobs then it's none of their business what you spend your money on. I could see if you went bankrupt or are a shopaholic, then their advice would be justified. The only thing I can think, why they're doing this, is perhaps they have struggled financially and are trying to teach you from their mistakes - is this the case? If you're on your own, then it's none of their business.

There is nothing wrong with it... but you have to know that your parents are always going to try and run your life UNTIL you put your foot down and make a stance.... it took me a few years of doing this, but whats important is that I finally got there and so can you.

Neither of my parents went to college so they have both worked lower-middle class jobs their whole lives. We have been lower to middle class my whole life and always had hand me downs and sometimes had "fend for yourself nights" where we ate what we could find in the house. I understand that since they went through that means that they are going to worry about me because of how hard they struggled but it's hard to show them that I'm different and I'm not even close to in the same situation. And it's stuff like when I get a new phone. My mom notices and starts grilling me saying I don't need this data package or why do I need a phone that does whatever.

I feel like I do put my foot down but it never ceases. Well, that's not entirely true. My mom used to be so hard on me that after almost every phone conversation I would be crying because she would make me feel so bad. Same with my dad. So now after she gets done with her spiel she says "I know you're responsible but...." and I'm just thinking if you KNOW I'm responsible why are you lecturing me?

It was a trip trying to get my own car. And I finally bought one when I was 18 and then the engine blew up a month later (about 2 days after my warranty was up of course) so I had a 3,000 bill on my hands. My dad screamed at me telling me that I killed the car, I wasn't taking good care of it blah blah blah. And once the dealership said that there was nothing I could do to prevent it he shut up but never did apologize.

Now I have had this car for about 3 years but have 5,000 negative equity from the car that blew up and I was talking to my mom about selling it private party once I get the loan down and buying a brand new car and ohhhh did that open up pandora's box. My bf and I are talking about buying a foreclosed home once we move to Arkansas and fixing it up because we both have several years on experience in remodeling and I haven't said one word to my mom about that. Who knows what kind of talking to I would get about that.

I just wish I could talk about financial concerns or ideas without worrying what kind of lecture I'm going to get. I wish I could get an unbiased "yes that's a good idea" or "no its not" without "well jessi you have to think about this and this and this and this and are you making enough money for that? well you can't afford to be wasting your money on that!" I know I'm still young but damn I'm not 7!

Have you ever told your parents this?

Not so direct. I have said that I wish they wouldn't give me a 30 min lecture about buying a 4 dollar cup of coffee but not anything so detailed. I always have these elaborate speeches built up in my head and then when I get to talking I go blank. When I finally told my dad he wasn't claiming me on his taxes anymore because he hasn't helped me out for a long time my heart was pounding the whole time. I just hate confrontation. So I always WANT to stand up but never do because I don't want to start anything.