Does "ma'am" please or offend you?

I grew up in the midwest, but have lived in the South for over forty years.

As a kid we addressed adults as Mrs., Mr. or Miss Last Name.

Living in the South for so long I've picked up the habit of saying ma-am or sir. Use them regardless the other person's age. It's a sign of respect in the South.

My job entails working with kids. My last name is hyphenated and difficult to pronounce. I have no problem with the kids calling me Miss Fristname. My co-workers and I wiil refer to one another as Miss or Mr Firstname when talking to the kids, in part because we work in a residential facility. It would be offputting and create a distance between the kids and staff if we required the kids to use last names. It's also a Southern thing to address adults as Miss or Mr Firstname. It's not meant as a slight to married women, it's meant as a sign of respect.

I grew up in the South and children were taught to use it as a sign of respect to their mothers and other women. So, I am not offended by it at all. In fact, although I am in my fifties, I will say "ma'am" to women I perceive are older/mature.

Personally, I don't like "ma'am." Like others have said, it has old lady connotations. I prefer "miss" or "young lady."

In the UK, no one calls anyone ma'am (only royal family members) I would love to be addressed as ma'am by my students.

Very interesting post. English is a foreign language to me and I do not talk to others in my country in English. I've learned most of my English-language etiquette from movies and tv shows, seeing how I'm on first name terms with every native English speaker I know in real life. Personally, if someone called me "Ma'am", I would feel respected.

I'm curious, though. Would you still not feel respected if someone younger than you addressed you on a first name basis, but with a respectful tone of voice and choice of words?

Fair question. Being from the South and having been raised under a household rule that says all children address all adults by last name, never by first, I am socially conditioned to think "first name equals disrespect" in my feelings, even though I know better in my head. My father didn't allow us to call any adult by first name, even if that adult specifically invited us to. If the neighbor said, "Call me First Name," my siblings and I were under strict orders to smile, say "Yes, sir," and continue to address him as Mr. Last Name. When I asked how it's showing respect if I'm going against what the neighbor wants to be called, my father's answer was, "I can't help it if other people won't play by the rules." To him, it was just never, ever polite for a child (defined as someone under 18) to address an adult (defined as someone over 18) by first name. With my boyfriend's mother who wanted me to call her by her first name, however, we did reach a compromise with my father where I could call her Mrs. First Name. My father was not born a Southerner, or I suspect it would have occurred to him sooner. As has been mentioned in this thread, Mr. or Miss/Mrs. First Name is quite common in the South.

I do have to remind myself nowadays, that a teenager who addresses me by first name with a smile is not being disrespectful. I was raised in a different generation and a different part of the country. I'm told that if I were still living in the South, I would undoubtedly be called Mrs. and ma'am automatically. It's just that customs are different here. However, when I bristled on another website at having a teenager call me Sweetie, and this met with a 15-year-old girl telling me disdainfully (her exact typing style here) "u need to get wit the times, SWEETIE!" I do think that was blatantly disrespectful.

Interesting! I live in the south and I was born here...but all of my relatives, including my parents, are from the north. I have never called anyone ma'am and it makes me cringe..as do darlin', honey, etc. Young lady does as well indeed remind me of getting in trouble!!
My first name makes the most sense to me to be called by since it was what my parents chose to name me...Ms. Whatever makes me feel old. (I am in my mid-thirties.) I always called my parents friends by their first names as they always told me to. I do not do that now unless I am "familiar" with someone...I do call people Mr. or Ms./Mrs. if the situation is appropriate.
I will say that I had always better say please and thank you as a child and still do to this day!!

offends.

i'm not royal, and even if i was up to the queen's status, it would still offend