looking for ideas to be a better lover

I'm 37 years old, mother of 3 and divorced although been in a relationship for over 3 years. I've always had a problem with intimacy and being a loving partner. I'm not a hugs and kisses person, I'm not good at giving encouragement or saying thank you or showing affection or appreciation. My partner craves these things and I am able to do them for my children. I want to be able to initiate sex with my partner and fear rejection, I want to be able to put on lingerie and feel embarrassement, I want to know how to put together a romantic evening together after the kids go to bed, I want to know how to feel good about me and the way I look....the list could go on and on and I really need suggestions because I'm tired of therapy and the internet, well, I think I've read almost everything so now I'm turning to chat rooms.

You could, bring up a couple lingerie ideas, from the net, ask your bf, if any of them appeal to him, and whether he'd like to see you dress sexy?

Is the fear of rejection, from your current relationship, or a past one?

Part of being sexy, is exuding confidence, trusting your partner is all eyes, and won't reject you. (( you can even have little blunder, oops, turning an ankle in a high heel, but that's actually part of the intimacy))

Just 'own' the moment, when you decide to take that step

I think the key to being sexy to your partner rests both in showing an interest (a turned on woman is a swxy one I in the eyes of most straight men) and confidence. It sounds like you lack the confidence so you can find it or fake it.

I personally found it through belly dancing, although if you're looking to turn him on specifically (it was a self-esteem boost for me to learn to dance) you could try taking a class on pole, chair, or burlesque dancing. They can give you confidence and teach you moves.

You could also play out his fantasies if you know of any. My husband always liked the school girl look so I bought a costume, put my hair in pigtails and jumped him. He did laugh when he saw it, but that was out of shock (I knew he'd do it), not because I wasn't turning him on.

I will also give him shuttles cues throughout the day, look at him with flirty eyes, kiss him out of the blue, go for a hug, but then let your hands wander down to his *****, lingerie. whatever you do, try to read his responses to see what is working for him

Or you could just say "yes" as it doesn't take much to turn moest men on