Pregnant and feel nothing?

I'm pregnant but don't feel anything. I've changed my lifestyle to be healthy for the baby, and I'm in a position where it's "good" to have a baby, but I am not excited even though I technically was trying to have a kid. I cant imagine being a mother, I'm way too selfish. People say congrats and act like I should be celebrating. I have no feelings at all. I have no maternal instinct it seems... Today they located the heartbeat on an ultrasound, I felt like I should be happy, but I was terrified. Is this normal at all?

Apparently my mother was in a similar frame of mind when pregnant with my eldest sibling and even after giving birth she took a long time to feel like a mother.

Luckily my parents lived in a small close knit community, because on a regular basis she would go to the local shop get her shopping but forget to take pram and baby home with her
The little old ladies would keep watch and also take bets on how long she'd take to realise her mistake. it was the running joke but they also understood that as a first time mum she was taking time to adapt. Today I think people would be horrified and label her a bad parent but she did adjust and was and still is a great Mum

So give yourself a break be honest with your health care team because they have seen it all before and may have some useful tips on helping you connect

It does take some women longer than other to connect with their babies. Some women just can't connect with their babies while they're still in the womb. Don't beat yourself up. It may come later after you give birth when you see your baby, or when you're nursing him or her, or even at some other moment such as when you're just watching them sleep, and you realize what a beautiful miracle you made, and you can't picture your life without them. There are a very small percentage of women who never feel that mothering instinct. In in fact, you have your baby and realize you're in that small percentage, all I can advise you to do is, join an amazing church where you'll have a great support system, and your child will have lots of people who will love them, because they are really going to need to get extra love from many other sources. And you will have to be an extra attentive mother if you don't feel a connection to your child. This will be something that you really have to put the effort into to make sure that your child doesn't feel like they aren't loved or not wanted by you. You would never want them to feel like that so you'll have to work extra hard to make up for a lack of having a connection, which if you don't have it, that's not your fault, some women just aren't blessed with it unfortunately, which isn't fair for you or the child. All you can do is make sure you do your best to never let them know that's the way you really feel inside, no matter what. You would never want to hurt your child. It would scar them emotionally for the rest of their lives. Anyway, I have high hopes that at least after you see your baby, and have some time to bond with him or her and hold them in your arms, and touch their little tiny hands and feet, and little ears, nose, and cute little baby lips, when you see them nurse, or even nursing from a bottle, however you choose to feed you baby, all of those things bond you to you baby. That's really when you fall in love with that tiny little being. It's like no other love you can imagine until you experience it. So just wait until the baby gets here, and then, if it doesn't happen, we'll worry, okay? But, just know that lots of knew soon to be mom's have these same worries that you do. You're not alone. If you need to, pm me anytime. Carol.

I think terrified sounds in the normal category. Some great advice here. Take it day to day.

oh you will. Soon you will feel sick and you will only wish you could enjoy the days of feeling nothing again. Then you will get better then you will feel a real live person living in side of you. It is the greatest feeling on earth. Right now you only have a person the size of a baby aspirin living inside of you. Soon enough you will have those sweet feeling of love and protection for that growing baby.