When is it going to get better (with baby)

Hi I am asking for insight as a first time mom from those with grown cjildren.

I have a 7 month old. While I love my baby and enjoy most of the time spent, this is so hard. Baby is always 'stuck' with me since they need to eat all the time, I can't nap, I never napped, so sleep is my biggest issue which triggered a lot of things

I have heard by 4 months; I'm just hoping to hear it gets better. I've worked and went to school full time before the baby, a part of me wants to continue with my career but I feel drained, tired, and I make too many mistakes to be out in the workforce.

Don't get me wrong please I am still bonding, but I do everything for my baby, I have skipped showers for myself, gone out for errands with baby food on my hair. Cut out unnecessary video gaming time, etc.

I am always learning what to do and not to do, everyday is something new and unexpected. I know a whole chunk of my life is devoted to baby. When is it going to get easier, ie: when they potty train/ go to school? Thank you so much. You can ask me anything too

For me it got better when my babies were about 1 year old and started to go to nursery and I returned to my job. But then again you'll have to deal with crisis as they'll reach 2 years, then 3 years. But it does get easier as they grow older. Why can't you nap? Other way out is to have someone to take care of baby and spend time somewhere else to sleep as much as you need.

Better?

When they move out...
:-/

Yes I had my husband watch her while I slept in but my baby would cry and he would wake me up, plus I'm the source of food and comfort. I've locked myself in my room before because the baby needs me too soon but I needed sleep so bad. The baby also eats at night so I never get sleep sorry I just vented.

I can't nap I mean I try, but I know my baby needs me and I feel guilty when someone is taking care of my baby. What's nursery? I don't know if we can do it around 1 around here.

Thanks for giving me some hope!

Does she eat expressed milk? If I needed to go somewhere alone, I would leave breast milk for her. If you feel two stressed about leaving to someone - why don't you nap when baby naps? Do you go for long walks? My baby was used to going out for 2-3 hours in pram, so when I needed time for something I could use that time and somebody else could walk outside with her. Moms naturally feel quietly and anxious when separating from babies, but if it gets too overwhelming for you, you need to find a way to get the rest needed before you get too insane. I know what I'm talking about - I've gone insane with two little kids (my second was born when first one was less than 2). It's still hard for me to acknowledge my needs, my borders because babies needs naturally come first and moms are ready to scarifies everything. But the thing is - babies are happy when their moms are happy.
Other thing for night feeding - do you sleep with your baby in the same bed? For me it was lot easier if we slept together and I didn't have to bother waking up fully and not falling asleep while feeding. Safety of course needs to be considered.

Baby is BF and some puree, I am seriously considering formula because I need my sanity back, I don't know..I always had a hard time napping during the day, I don know if it's the circadian cycle, outside noise, doors opening closing, I drink chamomille put some music on. Yes I do cosleep, I love it esp because I don't have to pick up/put baby down every time. It makes me anxious I am not sleep-training because that's what's going to solve my problems, I think. I tried but there's more waking and crying than when I'm not right there. Baby is napping right now, I'm on here, and then I have to eat, I am starving!

Thanks for talking about it with me it really helps. Thanks for the reminder that I have to be happy too :-)

Seriously consider the formula. There is so much of a push to breastfeed now, it makes many moms feel guilty and that they don't have a choice. I purely formula fed from the beginning because I knew I needed to return to my psych meds. It is so much easier and made me so much more functional, which was better for baby anyway. It also tends to be longer between feedings if you are using formula.

Hang in there!

Is there enough space, in your room for a crib or one of those nap and plays? I did that, for my own sanity. Plus, eventually moving onto baby two, too exhausted to risk the bed share, plus oldest, bedshare was cute at first, until he took over the bed, moving this way, moving that way..
I had to use formula, no way around a prior surgery years prior, even argued with the lactation specialist, gawd, they sure push it, with that condescending look...kids healthy, smart too.
I tell people the first year, is my least favorite. ..it is demanding in ways, many ways. I had three kids within three years and ten months of oldest to youngest...
Does it get easier? Subjective. ..it gets different, but I get what you mean.
Tell your h to stop waking you up, however. You do need rest...

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

If you feel bad about formula, get a good breast pump and pump milk to put in a bottle for baby, and let other people feed her sometimes too. I actually nursed AND used formula.

I co-slept with my son, so night time feedings were easy. My warning about this would be you have to know that you are the type of person who won't roll over on baby. I knew I wouldn't because I had already spent years with one or more cats always snuggled up next to me and was used to always being aware of where little bodies were in relation to myself while sleeping. If you aren't sure of this, there ARE little baby co sleeping safety beds you can put in the bed with you, or you could use a moses basket in bed with you. There are other types of beds for baby that can be right up next to your bed that would make it easier to quickly feed baby and go back to sleep.

It will be easier to sleep at night as baby starts eating more foods too. As babies grow bigger and can have foods that are more filling, they sleep longer.

Really, I was exhausted pretty much until my boy was about 4-5, but by about 9 months, the sever sleep deprivation had passed.

Why are you not napping? If you cosleep with the baby, why are you not breastfeeding in bed during the day? And why baby food in your hair? You do not need baby food - just mash whatever you yourself eat and feed the baby or let the baby squish mashed food. Why are you skipping showers? Put the baby in a carrier and place the carrier on the floor in the bedroom - the baby would love hearing the sound of the water, seeing you with droplets on your skin, and smelling your shower gel and hair products.

I think you are taking this way too seriously because this is the first time. You are describing being on duty. Now is still the time to enjoy. It will only get more challenging with crawling and walking. Now, the baby is still not mobile enough to need vigilance and babyproofing, and yet is social enough already to smile and interact with you. A sweet spot!

Yes I have the crib and cries so hard when youre not there, I'm in the 3rd night of sleep training just like you stated- baby is crawling so it got dangerous. It's getting better, I'm starting to sleep more at night, I'm terrified of missin sleep again and go back to those dark times

I used to supplement during the earlier months, I found BFing was soooo much easier and it helped me sleep more than 3hrs at a time. I combined BFing and cosleeping, I became happy, or happier than before.. Won't drink formula yet, but will eat with puree. My baby is almost there, I just need my baby to drink formula and not depend on boob to sleep. I had a arms reach during the newborn stage, the cribs soo huge it's hard to put her down after she's almost at sleep, but it keeps my baby from climbing out. Yes I agree with different, I'm getting used to it

Due to high anxiety and daytime noise, I was never a good napper. I am still BFing in bed or couch but introducing a new formula. I Puree organic veggies and fruits, freeze them, defrost to feed. I also let my baby eat what I'm eating.
I skip showers because I'm just so tired, baby's awake wants to play, need to do chores, I just want to lay down. There's baby food all
Over myself, my clothes, I feed my baby solids 3x a day soo squirmy hands gets to my hair, my face, my shirt. But that doesn't bother me as much

Ooooh, my baby is pulling up, been crawling for months, can take 1-2 steps before falling on the butt. Love "baby talk", looks at me, babbles, smiles, goes back to playing. Yes it is so sweet! 😭 makes me proud every time a milestone is reached. I'm loosening up a bit. I trust others holding my baby, I'm not as scared. I believe I'm not a bad mom if accidents happen.

I do not understand why you are even thinking of formula when the baby is already 7 months old and eats the puree. I breastfed my third baby exclusively till 7 months old. Then I started giving her table foods. The first table food was baked salmon. She would then eat mashed beans and stuff like that. Any adult whom the baby already knows can feed her such things. Babies do not just eat but are interested in the textures, colors, and smell of foods. I do not know if in Greenland you have steam-in-the-bag microwaveable veggies. When my baby was little, these microwaveable wonders had not made their appearance yet, but now a large variety of such veggies is available and this is super convenient. If you have such steambags, I would cook for 1 minute longer than the instructions say to make the veggies more easily mashable. We have steambags with cauliflower-broccoli-carrot combo. That would be a very festive colorful meal for your baby. We also have butternut squash that can be microwaved, both as a ready-made puree and as chunks. All of it is microwaveable - no effort ... no hard labor. Adding a little maple syrup to microwaved squash makes it especially delectable. I know that honey should not be given until the baby is 1, but do not know about maple syrup - better check this out.

A baby that old who won't drink formula just won't drink it - her tastebuds are developed enough to tell the difference and she won't settle for an ersatz, but she would be more than eager to explore nourishment that does not attempt to replace breastfeeding.

I am also of the firm conviction that fermented milk products (kefir, farmers' cheese, a little full fat sour cream, and full fat plain yogurt) should be given to babies without waiting until they hit their first anniversary. Just make sure that everything is full fat. And adding a berry or two would make this meal festive - say, put a mound of whole cream yogurt and top it with one raspberry for your baby. This ought to be a success.

Oops, we must have been typing at the same time, sorry.

Anyway, if the baby has been crawling for months and is trying to walk, she is definitely old enough for a wide variety of foods (and drinks - see kefir above), so you do not need formula for her. She is too developed for that.

You can buy a package of shredded cheese at a supermarket and put little piles on her plate (no work and safe, unlike cheese cubes and cheese sticks). Again, just make sure that you are not feeding her anything low-fat or non-fat. She needs all the fat for her brain development. There are packages with coarsely shredded cheese and finely shredded cheese - if you combine a bit of both, that would be a very good sensory experience for her. Plus, color - white cheese combined with orange cheese would look interesting and appealing to her. And I would cook steel cut oats in a thermos (virtually no work effort involved) and give her to eat at breakfast time. Another no work effort involved food is canned salmon which can be bought without bones and cartilage (at least in the US) and then easily mashed. Read up on fish safety for babies, though - the recommendations keep changing.

Thanks for the tips. I'll add that to the diet altjough the pedriatician reccomended breast milk or formula as the main source of nutrition until after the first birthday. Maybe I'll get a second dr opinion. I am having fun making new foods, my baby does eat some finger food like melt able yogurt drops, semi solid puree foods we eat, and is loving it. Yes everything should be okay to try except raw honey. I m still iffy about going a good amount of dairy because the intolerant runs in the family. I know what you're saying about formula though, I also feel there's no way my baby will drink it...

I'm from east coast in the US, I tried to make it more anonymous

Thanks all things are getting easier, but I'm still feeling overwhelmed mentally. I set up an appointment with a psych. Since my insurance started back again. I am going next week

This was years ago......but I was finishing up my BS degree so I could graduate 10 months after my daughter was born. I couldn't be tied to her so breast feeding wasn't an option I was willing to even consider. I didn't want to deal with the nuisance of using a pump...not even sure they had things like that back in those days.

It was quite soon after she was born that I would do a midnight feeding of baby cereal that would stick to her ribs (& probably everything else it touched also).....but my daughter slept through the night because she never woke up hungry in the middle of the night. We both got our sleep when helped to keep both of us from being grumpy.

I also had friends from church or my parents who were more than willing to take care of her while I was going to my classes & doing the computer labs that were required for my degree.. It's important to have time for yourself & not make your whole life be about your baby.....you have to have a life or resentment starts to hit.

Of course....I have to admit....I never had any motherly instincts.....not something that is always naturally there for ALL women & I refused to feel guilty about it.....I had my degree & my career to focus on also. I loved my daughter....but she was definitely not my whole life. You can still love your baby & not have it be the all consuming thing in your life.

Jan - fermented milk products have virtually no lactose. Yes, your choice of venue (greenland) does make it very anonymous!

So now there are yogurts on the market that say 100% lactose free, but that is mainly a marketing gimmick, because a regular yogurt is still 99% lactose free - very few people would notice any difference.

The pediatrician who says that breastmilk or formula should be the main source of nutrition is dead wrong and this advice is dangerous. The baby would become anemic from following this advice. Formula fortified with iron would not provide bioavailable iron. The best source of bioavailable iron, if you can tolerate the smell of it (I cannot!) is organic organ meat. Liver is a top source of iron. If you cook liver, it is easily mashable. For me it was all theoretical, because I am disgusted by the smell produced by cooking liver, but if you do not have that strong repulsion, then consider organ meats (kidneys heart liver). They have to be organic because liver in particular accumulates toxins that get into the body of the animal, which is why organic is a must. I do not buy a lot of organic products due to the higher cost, but with the organ meats, organic is an absolute necessity. Since you are already buying organic veggies, you would probably know where to find organic organ meats.

I think that both you and the baby are on the right track, enjoying the fun of exploring foods. Do consider that you yourself might have become anemic from all that work carrying and nursing the baby. The fatigue you are attributing to lack of sleep might be due to lack of sleep, but might also be due to low iron in your blood. I would usually recommend Floradix iron supplement. It is a German product, admittedly very expensive (I think in the vicinity of 30-40 dollars a month, but you do not need it every month) and a little inconvenient logistically because you need to take it 30 mins before food, but it has a wonderful taste, is absolutely non-constipating (unlike iron supplement pills), provides a full B-complex dose, and a bunch of herbs, too. You buy it in a bottle which you keep in a fridge and consume within a month (it is perishable). Children can have it, too.

***

Avocados are a terrific baby food - they are a nature-made puree and they contain lots of fat that the baby needs so much at this developmental stage.

***

Owning an iron skillet is a good idea with children, because cooking in iron cookware does enrich the cooked foods with iron. Iron-rich foods are also more bioavailable to the body in the presence of vit C. So if you cook, say, ground beef with pinto beans (both iron-rich foods) and canned tomatoes (vit C), and all of it in a cast iron skillet, the synergies would yield a very healthful meal for you and the baby. And it is all mushy anyway. If you are not willing to use canned tomatoes, you can buy tomatoes in a Tetra-Pak containers. The tomato pieces in Tetra-Pak containers are also small enough to be given to the baby directly to play and try the taste of.

I am glad maple syrup is safe. Maple syrup by itself has nutrients, unlike sugar, and a little goes a long way - yogurt, oatmeal, farmers' cheese can be sweetened just a tad with maple syrup.

***

I hope the psych appt goes well but definitely get a second opinion on the nutrition to the baby. Do note that anemia at this age has far-reaching negative consequences. In one study children were tracked over the years and the finding was that the children who were anemic as toddlers did worse on math tasks in Kindergarten than their age peers who were not anemic as toddlers.

Formula may cause anemia in two ways: 1) if the baby is full from formula and will not want to eat meat or beans or other iron-rich sources just because its stomach is already filled with formula, then the baby forgoes iron-rich foods, and 2) iron is not absorbed well in the presence of calcium. If the baby drinks formula all day long, there are no windows of opportunity for the iron to be absorbed.

Just to summarize: iron is absorbed better in the presence of vit C and worse in the presence of Calcium. So this needs to be taken into account for meal planning.

Eskie pointed out something, that is also my secret, about baby cereal. Fills the tummy.

Also, is there anything you can do with your baby, an exersaucer, playpen, secured room so you can quickly jump in the shower?

Friends, family, baby's father, to give you a chance to do for yourself?

Even store bought baby food jars to cut you slack?

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk